31、第 31 章 第三十一页 ...
-
"May I ask what you intend to gain by this exhibition?"
M其实一直在给机会，一直在询问F的真心。可惜F一直没有回答对问题。
He said: "It is our last chance. I shall do all that I can." And as if he had done all else, he turned to Miss Bartlett, who sat like some portent不祥之兆 against the skies of the evening. "You wouldn't stop us this second time if you understood," he said. "I have been into the dark, and I am going back into it, unless you will try to understand."
这里G/F，是希望Bartlette/M的意识，可以不要阻止Lucy/M的潜意识，希望Lucy/M能承认自己所爱。
可是真真是同样聪慧的青年，M居然同样看出了F的挣扎，一再地给F机会，希望F能许给自己和两人只属于彼此的一个未来。可是F在意识层面上一直逃避这种一对一长久的关系，拒绝作出承诺。
这倒是跟两人当初认识表白，还有4小时7分钟前几章有一个礼拜都提示自己要去见Agnes是很类似的。
潜意识里，两个人都害怕。一个是自卑，怕自己给不了对方未来。另一个是害怕美丽逝去，怕失去对方的激情。
终于理解了Maurice里的那句，我害怕，其实你也一直在害怕了。
很神奇，居然在这本书里看到了George/F在1908年自己的潜意识。这就是意识层面，和潜意识层面的原因呢。其实Lucy/M已经一直在引导了。然后M就看出来F的逃避了。只是拿不准F逃避的原因而已。
"It is being young," he said quietly, picking up his racquet网球拍 from the floor and preparing to go. "It is being certain that Lucy cares for me really. It is that love and youth matter intellectually."
爱和青春最重要。
呵呵，F，我只能说，这是M最不想听到的你找的理由。
1908年，F就开始对自己撒谎，不肯承认自己希望与M建立一对一长久的亲密关系，居然一路拖到1911，又拖3年，真真是令人绝望。两个人都精疲力尽了吧。
那封信里一定是有承诺的，很好奇free letter.不知霍华德里有没有。
但结果第二天就打破承诺，未免令M寒心。
这本书里本来以为是F对M的分析，结果却从M的问话里读出了F自己对潜意识的压抑，真真是没想到，真神奇。
"What do you mean by a new voice?" she asked, seized with incontrol-lable anger.
"I mean that a new person seems speaking through you," said he.
开始了Lucy/M，Cecil/F
Then she lost her balance. She cried: "If you think I am in love with someone else, you are very much mistaken."
