《疑心病》一叶知境

12、来自被侵犯女孩的十五封信筏 亲爱的叔叔

　　第一封。亲爱的叔叔。
　　因为父母出差。
　　我依稀记得。你十八岁那年。
　　在我四岁的生日上送了我一件白色短裙子。
　　仔细闻起来还有淡淡的花香味。
　　你说。
　　这是你攒了好久的钱去了很远的地方买来的。
　　我不知道该去如何表达我的答谢。
　　只是环住你的脖子。
　　轻轻在你脸颊上吻了一下。
　　这是我喜欢一个人的表现。
　　旁人也不会觉得这有什么。
　　因为四岁的小孩子不需要避嫌。
　　她喜欢一个人的方式很明显。

　　第二封亲爱的叔叔。
　　我穿上了你送的那条白裙子。
　　很香。
　　幼儿园的小朋友都很羡慕的喊我小公主。
　　你眯着眼笑着对我说。
　　早早穿白裙子的样子很好看。
　　我很开心。
　　开开心心的在你面前又转了转圈。
　　你带我来到了一个房间。
　　说早早要听话叔叔要带你玩一个游戏。
　　我点的头更厉害。
　　因为我喜欢和叔叔玩游戏。

　　第三封
　　亲爱的叔叔。你说屋里太热。脱掉了衬衣
　　并说游戏开始了。
　　然后抱住我开始干一些很奇怪的事情。
　　我不知道我们玩的是什么游戏。
　　因为我和我的好朋友从来没有玩过
　　并奶声奶气的询问。
　　我可以邀请其他的朋友玩吗。
　　我躲在你的怀里。
　　能听到你的呼吸有些急促。
　　早早乖啦这只属于你和叔叔的游戏。
　　我不知道这个游戏好不好玩
　　只是在结束后。
　　我能感受到很疼。
　　我穿上衣服。你抱起我。
　　说要给早早买个冰激淋当奖励啦。
　　我笑的更甜。我喜欢吃冰激淋

　　第四封
　　亲爱的叔叔。
　　在此之后。
　　你总会拿奖励诱惑我陪你进行游戏。
　　有时候我实在忍受不了疼痛。
　　不断抗拒。
　　你还是不肯停止你古怪的应为。
　　我当然也很不理解。
　　在某次我很晚回家。
　　爸爸妈妈询问我干什么去了。
　　你不断灌输无论说什么都不要说你在和叔叔玩游戏的思
　　想。
　　就这样。
　　叔叔持续两年都在陪我玩游戏。

　　即使我拒绝也会用一切办法威胁我

　　第五封
　　亲爱的叔叔。
　　在我三年级的时候。
　　因为奶奶死去。
　　财产分配不够公平。
　　我们两家也因此闹掰。
　　你们也不会常常在家。
　　我开始暗暗庆幸。
　　叔叔不必再强制我玩游戏了。

　　第六封。亲爱的叔叔。我长大了。
　　已经是个初中生。
　　似乎明白了当年的游戏。
　　那场画梦也总是出现在我的梦里。
　　我看着床上四岁的女孩逐渐变成十几岁的自己。我害怕。我尖叫。
　　他们骂我是疯子。

　　第七封亲爱的叔叔。
　　偷偷告诉你一个秘密哦。
　　在你离家之后。
　　我都会爬到屋顶。
　　然后再顺着梯子偷偷潜到你的家里。
　　我开始拿着斧头，锤子石头来回替换。
　　将玻璃都逐次砸的稀碎。
　　跑进屋里
　　将东西扔的满地都是。
　　你觉得可笑吗。
　　过了这么多年。
　　我却始终没有勇气再次进入那个房间。
　　小女孩的尖叫声似乎还在空中没有停止。
　　我害怕的逃离。
　　我特别喜欢听你回来时看到眼前的景象。
　　发出大声的咒骂声。
　　我躲在屋子里暗暗窃喜。
　　我会觉得。
　　我的报复已经成功。

　　第八封
　　亲爱的叔叔。你能相信吗。
　　一个十几岁的女孩得了病。
　　妈妈四处借钱砸锅卖铁为我筹备医药费。
　　他们骂我不检点。
　　骂我不懂得自爱。
　　将我公开处刑。
　　我低着头像一个罪无可恕的罪犯。
　　我好委屈。
　　可我总不能将我难以启齿的经历说出来毁掉我的清白。

　　亲爱的叔叔。我想。
　　你应该能更加明白病症的由来。

　　第九封，
　　亲爱的叔叔。
　　我穿着病服躺在床上。外面响起了鞭炮声。妈妈说。
　　今天是你结婚的日子。
　　嗬真的很搞笑。
　　我将病服脱掉换上发白的卫衣。
　　然后ge破手指，
　　将鲜血染在衣服。
　　拿出太多不吉利的东西扔在婚礼现场。
　　他们叫嚷着。
　　骂我是疯子。嘻嘻。
　　在被他们拉下去那一刻。
　　我丢下了一件及其宝贵的宝贝。
　　一只还在喷血的公鸡。
　　第十封
　　亲爱的叔叔。在我死之前。
　　我有一个大胆的想法。
　　想焚烧掉那把凶器。
　　想将你的身体埋葬在大海深处。
　　我安静坐在海边。
　　看着那些生物啃食。

　　请不要责怪我。
　　这是来自那场游戏的惩罚。

　　第十一封。
　　亲爱的叔叔。
　　我变得愈加疯狂。
　　无时无刻幻想将你埋葬。
　　我站在你的身躯之上。
　　不断乱踩。
　　松软的泥土上布满我恶心的唾沫。
　　我站在你的尸体之上尽情舞蹈。

　　因为你是我所有噩梦的起源。

　　毁掉你。
　　我才得以重生。

　　第十二封
　　亲爱的叔叔。
　　我幻想过无数次我穿婚纱美丽的样子。
　　可你却让我所有幻想破灭。
　　靠躲在发白的病房里继续苟延残喘活下去。
　　亲爱的叔叔。
　　这好不公平。
　　受害者活在深渊。
　　施暴者活在光明。
　　这。
　　就是不变的规矩吗。

　　第十三封亲爱的叔叔。
　　我再次遇见了你。
　　只是我戴着口罩还有帽子。
　　你没有认出我。
　　我不怪你。
　　拿起手机开始偷偷为你拍照
　　你此时的模样像极了道貌岸然的家伙。
　　在你下车后。我紧随其后。
　　拿利器的手在颤抖。
　　额头不断冒着冷汗。
　　我克制掉内心的慌张。
　　努力让自己保持平静。
　　你在一家花店停下了脚步。
　　嗬你居然在买一朵玫瑰。
　　高贵美丽的玫瑰会不会被你握在手里心底不断唾弃。

　　第十四封
　　亲爱的叔叔。
　　我终于惩治了你。
　　让我的梦变成了现实。
　　我拖着躺在化肥袋里的你。
　　一步一步朝有空旷并且有柴火的地方走去。
　　我将你放在柴火之中。
　　然后用烈火焚烧。
　　请别怕疼。
　　这是来自毁掉我一生的惩罚。

　　第十五封
　　亲爱的叔叔。
　　下辈子请别遇见我。
　　求你让我拥有一个完整童年。

　　第十六封
　　亲爱的叔叔。
　　请别让我害怕回忆自己的童年。

　　（英文版指路）
　　The first one. Dear Uncle.

　　Because my parents are on a business trip.

　　I vaguely remember. When you were eighteen years old.

　　I was given a short white skirt on my four-year birthday.

　　It smells carefully and has a faint floral fragrance.

　　Say it.

　　You saved money for a long time and bought it far away.

　　I don't know how to express my gratitude.

　　Just around your neck.

　　Gently kissed you on the cheek.

　　This is what I like to be alone.

　　No one else will feel anything.

　　Because four-year-olds don't need to avoid suspicion.

　　The way she likes a person is obvious.

　　The second dear uncle.

　　I put on the white dress you gave me.

　　It smells good.

　　The children in the kindergarten called me little princess enviously.

　　You squinted and smiled at me.

　　It looks good to wear a white dress early.

　　I'm very happy.

　　I happily turned around in front of you again.

　　You took me to a room.

　　It's said that you should be obedient early. Uncle will take you to play a game.

　　I nodded harder.

　　Because I like to play games with my uncle.

　　The third one

　　Dear Uncle. You said it was too hot in the room. Take off your shirt.

　　And he said that the game has begun.

　　Then hugged me and began to do something strange.

　　I don't know what game we are playing.

　　Because my good friends and I have never played.

　　And milk inquiries.

　　Can I invite other friends to play?

　　I hide in your arms.

　　It's a little short to hear you.

　　Good morning. This is a game for you and your uncle.

　　I don't know if this game is fun.

　　It's just over.

　　I can feel it hurt.

　　I put on clothes. You picked me up.

　　He said he would buy an ice cream early as a reward.

　　I laughed sweeter. I like ice cream.

　　The fourth letter

　　Dear Uncle.

　　After that.

　　You will always use rewards to tempt me to play games with you.

　　Sometimes I really can't stand the pain.

　　Constantly resist.

　　You still refuse to stop your eccentric behavior.

　　Of course, I don't understand too.

　　I came home late sometime.

　　My parents asked me what I had done.

　　You keep instilling that you are playing games with your uncle no matter what you say.

　　Think about it.

　　That's it.

　　My uncle has been playing games with me for two years.

　　Even if I refuse, I will threaten me by all means.

　　The fifth letter

　　Dear Uncle.

　　When I was in the third grade.

　　Because grandma died.

　　The distribution of property is unfair.

　　Our two families also quarreled about this.

　　You are not always at home.

　　I began to secretly celebrate.

　　Uncle doesn't have to force me to play games anymore.

　　The sixth letter. Dear Uncle. I have grown up.

　　He is already a junior high school student.

　　I seem to understand the game of that year.

　　That painting dream always appears in my dream.

　　I watched the four-year-old girl in bed gradually become a teenager. I'm afraid. I screamed.

　　They call me crazy.

　　The seventh dear uncle.

　　Secretly tell you a secret.

　　After you leave home.

　　I will climb to the roof.

　　Then sneak down the □□ to your house.

　　I began to replace the axe back and forth with the hammer stone.

　　Smash the glass one by one.

　　Run into the house

　　Throw things all over the ground.

　　Do you think it's ridiculous?

　　After so many years.

　　But I never had the courage to enter that room again.

　　The little girl's screams still didn't seem to stop in the air.

　　I fled in fear.

　　I especially like to hear you see the scene in front of you when you come back.

　　Make a loud curse.

　　I hid in the house secretly happy.

　　I will feel it.

　　My revenge has succeeded.

　　The eighth seal

　　Dear Uncle. Can you believe it?

　　A teenage girl fell ill.

　　My mother borrowed money everywhere to smash iron to prepare medical expenses for me.

　　They scolded me for being inspecting.

　　I don't know how to love myself.

　　Sentenced me in public.

　　I lowered my avatar as an unforgivable criminal.

　　I'm so wronged.

　　But I can't say my indescribable experience and ruin my innocence.

　　Dear Uncle. I think so.

　　You should be able to better understand the origin of the disease.

　　The ninth letter,

　　Dear Uncle.

　　I lay in bed wearing sick clothes. Firecrackers sounded outside. Mom said.

　　Today is your wedding day.

　　Oh, it's really funny.

　　I took off my medical clothes and replaced them with a white sweatshirt.

　　Then ge broke his fingers.

　　Dye blood on your clothes.

　　Take out too many unlucky things and throw them at the wedding scene.

　　They shouted.

　　Scold me crazy. Hee hee.

　　The moment they pulled down.

　　I left a precious treasure.

　　A rooster is still spraying blood.

　　The tenth letter

　　Dear Uncle. Before I die.

　　I have a bold idea.

　　I want to burn the murder weapon.

　　I want to bury your body in the depths of the sea.

　　I sat quietly by the seaside.

　　Watch those creatures eat.

　　Please don't blame me.

　　This is a punishment from that game.

　　The eleventh.

　　Dear Uncle.

　　I became more and more crazy.

　　I fantasize about burying you all the time.

　　I stand on your body.

　　Keep stepping on it.

　　The soft soil is covered with my disgusting saliva.

　　I stand on your body and dance to my heart's content.

　　Because you are the origin of all my nightmares.

　　Ruined you.

　　I was only able to be reborn.

　　The twelfth

　　Dear Uncle.

　　I have fantasized about the beautiful appearance of my wedding dress countless times.

　　But you made me disillusioned.

　　Continue to survive by hiding in the white ward.

　　Dear Uncle.

　　This is so unfair.

　　The victim lives in the abyss.

　　The perpetrator lives in the light.

　　This.

　　Is it the unchanging rule?

　　The thirteenth dear uncle.

　　I met you again.

　　It's just that I wear a mask and a hat.

　　You didn't recognize me.

　　I don't blame you.

　　Pick up your mobile phone and start taking photos for you secretly.

　　You look like a decent guy at this time.

　　After you get off the bus. I followed closely.

　　The hand holding the weapon is trembling.

　　There is a cold sweat on my forehead.

　　I restrained my panic.

　　Try to keep yourself calm.

　　You stopped at a florist.

　　Oh, you're actually buying a rose.

　　Will noble and beautiful roses be kept spit on in your hand?

　　Fourteenth

　　Dear Uncle.

　　I finally punished you.

　　It made my dream come true.

　　I dragged you lying in the fertilizer bag.

　　Step by step, go to the place where there is empty and firewood.

　　I put you in the firewood.

　　Then burn it with a fire.

　　Please don't be afraid of pain.

　　This is a punishment that ruined my life.

　　The fifteenth

　　Dear Uncle.

　　Please don't meet me in your next life.

　　Please let me have a complete childhood.

　　The sixteenth

　　Dear Uncle.

　　Please don't make me afraid to recall my childhood.