12、02.08.1956 ...
-
盖勒特：
常年教学的危害之一在于，它会让一个人变得惯于伪装。一种似乎他无所不知又无所不能一般的幻象。你会发觉这在孩子们面前是很必要的——即便真实的他有可能是一无所知又不知所措。
我从来都没把你当作我的走狗*，老朋友。非要说的话，我倒觉得事实应该恰恰相反。那段岁月里，我沉迷于你关于荣耀的梦想；而当我意识到了那些梦想的全部含义以及它们是从怎样的辛劳中榨取养分时，我才是那个觉得自己被背叛了的人。但长期教学也让人学会了识别，何时一场争论的本质仅仅是“没有”与“有”的无意义争执。
如果这会让你在以后的年岁里更加好过的话，恨我吧。我希望过，尽管是幼稚的希望，哪怕在那之后你也不会恨我——但无论如何，我除了这无知又无措的老傻瓜外什么都不是。不管你要怎么看我，我终归还是得问问关于你提到这位英国同道的消息。那个编造出来的名字不会恰好是伏地魔吧？它最近正是搅动一些不祥传言的风暴中心。我本想如你所愿，不来烦你的——然而不得不向你寻求更多细节。
撇开这个不谈，祝安好。
阿不思·邓布利多
.
[原文]
August 2nd, 1956
Gellert,
One of the perils of teaching for long is that one becomes accustomed to presenting, as one must to children, the illusion that one is entirely knowledgeable and confident in one's path through life, even when one may, in fact, be a fool and lost.
I never considered you my lapdog, old friend. If anything, I often thought of myself as yours for those few months, I caught up in your dreams of glory, I the one who felt betrayed when I realized the full implications of those dreams and the broken backs they would climb upon. But when teaching long, too, one learns to recognize when a dispute is simply—did not—did too.
Hate me, then, if it will make your remaining years easier. I had hoped, childish hopes, that you wouldn't, even after—but I am nothing but a lost old fool anyway. But, whatever you think of me, I must ask after this British fellow you mentioned. This made-up name wouldn't happen to be Voldemort, would it? I would leave you well enough alone, as you wish, but there have been ominous rumors round that name as of late, and I am compelled to ask.
That aside, be well.
AD
作者有话说
第12章 02.08.1956
