书评 - 晋江文学城

NOTES IN THE GREY TOWER – BY Bulb
每次看完之后都会觉得很委屈，特别委屈，说不清楚是为人物为故事还是为自己。但可以肯定的是，能把读者打动到自己觉得委屈，这本小说是成功的。
我一点也不想分析人物、故事、或是那个令人叹惋也津津乐道的结局。再这样琢磨下去我会抑郁的。
咦，似乎说重了点。
在无数个纠结于结尾的日夜中，我反反复复将小说看了无数遍，甚至到最后，可以背出那段“I just want to tell those who happen to find this notebook, the owner of it is Alan Custer, who meet with his death after World War II. He yearn towards the azure sky of the Cambridge University. He cherish the memory of his lover who stand beneath an apple tree with a smile. He abandon all of his memory to rebirth--BUT HE CANNOT FIND THE TRUE HAPPINESS.”
这真是我看过最棒的致郁系的文。好一个所谓的HE。很多虐文都是狠狠捅你一刀让你痛不欲生的套路，看来看去都麻木了。唯有这篇，捅完还要搅一搅，当它抽刀慢条斯理地翩然而去时，你松了口气，以为一切都结束了，殊不知刀上涂着天下绝世的慢性毒药，痛不欲生过后还有生不如死。对此，我只想说，可以，这很强。
我恨透了当初那个给我看个志的妹子，并迅速和她成为了坠吼的朋友。我从此沉迷二战文不能自拔，但再也没能找到能像这篇一样直击我的心，带给我无法言说的复杂情感的文了。
今天也不知道是第几次重刷了。每一次感受既相同又不相同。空落落，心里空落落的，一点也不想流泪，却难过到内伤。
啊，好委屈。我真的好委屈。
我就这样委屈着，持续地委屈着，直到今天听到那明明配得很好却有种蜜汁上海滩气息的广播剧后，我萌生了一个极其错误的、令人痛心疾首的想法：用我的渣渣英语水平，去尝试翻译一些文中的片段。
于是有了下文。
…
‘Do you have a headache every now and then?’
‘Don’t worry about me. Of course not.’
The man with a pair of gold-rimmed glasses seemed to breathe freely again. It seemed that he always narrows his eyes when he is thinking something. We chatted for a while. He looked at me and commented,
‘Alan, you seem to live well.’
‘Oh, that’s right. My lover and I live together.’
‘That’s not what I mean,’ he said, ‘I mean, you look like a man who have found the true happiness.’
I asked him, ‘But you look unhappy?’
‘I am falling out of love.’
‘Why don’t you chase her back? There are tricks to pick up hot chicks. Every buddy can get together with them. Just need the right broom.’ I comfort him, ‘Don’t give up, darling.’
‘Alan, you cannot understand,’ he said, ‘I don’t have enough ability to shelter him. He was involved in danger, but all I could do was touching his sorrow helplessly, with no approach to save him. I had considered bringing him from the watchtower, sending him to the countryside to let him escape from the hell – but what I could do was nothing. Oh, Alan, I really want to perform it – you should believe me.’
‘He?’
‘Oh, yeah. I’m a homosexual.’
‘What a coincident, me, too,’ I grinned, clapping him upon the shoulder, ‘It’s going to be alright, don’t lose heart. Just keep on.’
…
Maybe the idea came from a misconception that he looked a little bit sad.
He walked to the red hair boy standing distantly. I followed him with my eyes. The imp wove energetically, and then leaving with his elder male cousin for the humid fog covered London streets.’
It was my first and the last time to meet him -- in the milky fog.
I hate the winter fog of London, for it is gloomy, cold and wet, making the injury near my pit of the stomach ached secretly. Sometimes something common will be exposed to be particularly strange, giving me an illusion that it is waving, just like children always have when they read fairy tales.
The other day Edmond and I went to West End to handle affairs by car. On that morning the fog was unprecedentedly dense. If you unfolded your palm, you will feel that the humid air flowing through every interspace of every finger. I can see a grey watchtower standing tall and upright out of the car windows, just a dim shape. The tower body constructed by straight grey bricks exposed.
It occurred to me that I had seen it in the vast clear blue sky probably.
…
I didn’t know, why this ordinary scene had such a strong strength to make me feel like I was put into an icehouse.
I said to Edmond, ‘Honey, can you see this grey watchtower? When I shoot a glance at it, for an instant, I suddenly have a feeling that I will never ever love you.’
【以上英文部分……真的有人关注吗（躺）】
这种一字一句阅读，把每个字符拆开来研究的感觉太奇妙了，如果可以的话，我真的不想再体验一遍。被放大成百上千倍的痛苦勒住了我的喉咙，让我粗喘，让我眩晕。这相当于中了慢性毒药痛不欲生生不如死的同时，你被人告知这不是毒药是毒品，你只要继续吸食就可以缓解痛苦。然后你信了，继续吸了，吸食的过程是极乐的，飘飘然的感觉只有自残才能缓解一二。然后你就饥渴地自残了，一遍遍去读这本书了，或许还像我一样突发奇想去翻译了。
然后你更痛苦了中毒更深了戒也戒不了了。
即使如此，我也想躲到戒毒所去默默疗伤。真的伤不起了。
借用另一位读者的评论：
“Love can wither away, but it cannot rot.”
说得真好。
我恨透这个该死的结局，但不可否认的是，没有这个结局，我永远不可能像现在这样爱这本书。
灰塔笔记是一本神作。
具体表现在于，那个妹子成功地通过一本个志，将原本单纯可爱的三个妹子变成了腐女，一个单纯可爱（雾）的汉子变成了一个腐男。怎么可能包括我这个老司机呢呵呵呵。
看完之后感觉自己要变成一个资深抖m了呢。
“Now the pain is my pleasure cause nothing could measure.”
全部感受，以上。
最后，致敬灯泡，祝您喝水不塞牙缝，桃花朵朵开，么么喳。

首页>我的晋江> 《灰塔笔记（密码战）》 第1章

首页>我的晋江> 《灰塔笔记（密码战）》第1章