《甜琥珀（oc随笔）》落白三

1、芙若拉自白 中英双版

　　在表象上，我或许是人无完人中的完人吧，起码他人是如此评价我的。漂亮，乐观温柔，家世好，学习优秀，无所不能，理性理智的她。都是他们对我评价，没有人讨厌我，从未有过。但真实的我又是怎样的呢，每日将灵魂藏匿进自己编制的人设，骗过了所有人，内心再如何痛，如何厌恶，我也会笑着应答。直到她问我:“你看起来心情不好？”
　　我慌了神，我确认了笑容确实保持着，可她追着连击:“可你眼睛里很疲惫，没有神。”我无法回答的问题，我不敢看她，只能含糊过去。那是第一次有人穿透我的内心，也是唯一一次。
　　或许不是唯一一次呢？记忆深处的，年幼的玩伴看向我过敏泛红的眼睛问出那一句“你为什么哭啊？”但她再也没有回来。
　　爱是怎样的？数不清的人对我说爱。可感受到爱会应该是什么样的神情？
　　识破无数人心的我只在她们身上失败。
　　那是我一直所追求的，但永远追不上的，纯粹。

　　On the surface, I might be the flawless one among the flawed—at least, that’s how others perceive me. Pretty, optimistic, gentle, from a good family, academically outstanding, seemingly capable of anything, rational and composed. That’s their description. No one dislikes me. Never has.

　　But what of the real me? Each day, I hide my soul within the persona I've meticulously woven, deceiving everyone. No matter how my heart aches or how deep the self-loathing runs, I answer with a practiced smile. Until she asked: "You seem upset?"

　　I panicked. I confirmed my smile was perfectly intact, yet she pressed on: "But your eyes... they look weary. Empty." A question I couldn't answer. I couldn't meet her gaze, could only mumble an evasion. That was the first time someone saw through me. The only time.

　　Or perhaps not? Deep within memory, a childhood playmate once looked at my allergy-reddened eyes and asked, "Why are you crying?" But she never returned.

　　What is love? Countless people have claimed to love me. But what expression should grace the face of someone who truly feels loved?

　　I, who can see through countless hearts, failed only with them.

　　That elusive purity—always within sight, yet forever beyond my grasp.

作者有话说

　　姐姐的自白 英语是先翻译我再扣词修改的 奇怪就是因为我没文化 （嗯！）