《a little》不渡万山

3、第 3 章 may

　　maybe your problems wouldn't be solved so fast. you didn't know.
　　you were still pondering these thoughts, when your phone vibrated inside of your pocket. pulling out your phone you glanced down at the screen.
　　"i hope you don't mind, but we're headed to the library now," your best friend, Yuya Mutou, typed across the screen.
　　you furrowed your brows and replied with a simple, "no problem. see ya later!"
　　you put your phone back into your pocket and resumed watching the world go by through your window. you watched as the cars passed by you one by one, sometimes getting stuck behind other vehicles.
　　then, just when everything seemed to have calmed down, you felt another tap on your shoulder. turning around quickly, you saw Ta□□miling down at you.
　　"hey, (name)," he greeted. you smiled back and held your arms out.
　　"huh? what?" he asked.
　　"do you wanna hold my hand?"
　　he chuckled lightly. "sure," he answered, grabbing your wrist. you linked your hands with his and let go of the grip you'd had on your book.
　　"come on, then," he smiled, motioning toward the bus stop. you raised your eyebrows.
　　you got up from your seat and followed Takahiro across the classroom. once you reached the gate leading outside, he led you to the parking lot. as you stepped outside you saw everyone who worked there waiting for you. they all smiled when they caught sight of Takahiro and you standing together.
　　"well, I guess that's our cue to leave," he chuckled, pointing to the direction of your house. you nodded, but you were too focused on keeping up with his steps to respond. the last thing you expected was for him to grab your hand again and hold it.
　　"are you ok with letting me hold your hand, (name)?" he asked softly, glancing over at you every couple seconds. you nodded. "alright."
　　you were almost certain that you had never heard him speak so softly and quietly; even the most serious conversations he had had over the years were loud and filled with laughter.
　　you were surprised that he even wanted to hold your hand.
　　you hadn' t seen him in two weeks, and you were worried that he had lost track of how many times he had texted you. the number of text messages you had sent him over the course of two week didn't seem enough. you wanted to make sure that he was okay.
　　the sound of Ta□□ phone ringing snapped you out of your reverie, and you saw as he stopped dead in his tracks. you turned to look at him and saw him staring at his screen with wide eyes, frozen on the spot.
　　you frowned and took a step forward, confused. "is everything alright?" you asked hesitantly. his mouth moved, but no words came out. "Takahiro?"
　　"takahiro," he repeated faintly, before snapping out of his trance and turning toward you. he grabbed the strap of his bag over his shoulder and started moving toward the bus stop again. you jogged to catch up with him. "are you coming to the bookstore?" he asked, looking over at you.
　　"what about class?" you questioned.
　　"we'll miss it," he shrugged. "besides, I'll just have to walk through the hallways during breaks."
　　you rolled your eyes, trying to fight back a smile. you didn't really care if class was missed - you'd probably be able to get away without having to go. "fine. as long as you don't mind if I come with you," you offered. "if you don't mind, that is."
　　"no, I don't mind at all," he responded. after a brief moment of silence, he spoke up again: "can I tell you something personal?"
　　"anything," you told him truthfully.
　　"my dad's an ass. i really hated him," he began. he sighed deeply, running his hand through his hair. "he basically treats me like a baby, but he isn't even around when I need him to be. sometimes, i wonder if maybe he doesn't really love me... or if he does, but doesn't like showing it."
　　"oh," you murmured, not quite knowing what else to say.
　　"and..." his voice trailed off, causing you to turn to face him and give him your full attention. "... i'm sorry if that was really personal... i didn't mean to bring it up like that. it's really none of my business."
　　"no, it's fine," you assured him, shaking your head. "but don't worry, i understand why you felt comfortable enough to share it with me." you looked over at him. "so what do you usually talk about during lunch?"
　　Takahiro hesitated for a second, seeming hesitant to answer. finally, he gave you a small smile, and started walking toward the library entrance.
　　your relationship with Takahiro continued to grow throughout middle school, but you both stayed friends. you never thought your friendship with him would ever end, considering that you both practically lived in the same building.
　　at least... that's what you thought...
　　a small voice within you wondered if maybe this was fate, which had been trying to push you closer to your soulmate since elementary school. but the more you thought about it, the less sense your idea made. how were you supposed to believe in some kind of god, even if there really was one? you didn't know. but then again, what good did believing in a nonexistent deity do you anyway? You were stuck here in the mundane world with a boring job and mediocre life.
　　as you looked out your window and stared aimlessly at nothing in particular, you realized something. you didn't know how you were going to move on from this life. you didn't know whether your soulmate would still be interested in someone like you when you got older, and if he wasn't you didn't know how you could live without feeling as though you were losing something important to you.
　　you didn't think you'd be able to handle it.
　　"are you okay?"