《red light》不渡万山

14、第 14 章

　　"Can I come in?" Bobby questioned.
　　"Of course. Sorry, I didn't think you'd be coming tonight. I should've warned you beforehand."
　　"It's alright."
　　Bobby stepped inside Castiel's room, noticing that the room had changed since yesterday morning. His belongings were all packed away and the only things that remained were some of Castiel's things which were scattered across the floor.
　　Bobby walked over to Castiel' s desk, picking up the picture frame that was laying face down near the computer. He looked over at the photograph and then placed it back into place on the desk.
　　"Who did this?" he questioned, turning back to face Castiel again.
　　"Dean."
　　Bobby nodded in understanding.
　　"Right. So, tell me," he began. "How've you been holding up since everything that's happened?"
　　Castiel remained quiet for several moments, thinking. Finally, he spoke up and cleared his throat.
　　"I haven't exactly been coping much," he answered truthfully. "The accident wasn't really helping either. I don't feel like the same person anymore. My body feels different, I seem...different, and there's something wrong with me too, Bobby."
　　Bobby raised an eyebrow curiously.
　　"Why do you say that?" he questioned.
　　Castiel sighed.
　　"Because sometimes when I sleep," he started. "Sometimes my dreams remind me of Sam."
　　Bobby's expression softened. It was rare for Castiel to mention his brother even indirectly. But it seemed as though it had finally sunk in for Castiel that his younger brother was gone, and that he never expected to see his twin again.
　　"What do you dream about?" Bobby asked, trying not to let his voice waver.
　　"Mostly memories," Castiel replied after a few seconds. "And sometimes nightmares. But mostly memories."
　　Bobby nodded.
　　"Is there anything else that happens when you're dreaming?" he inquired.
　　Again, Castiel was silent for a moment, seemingly contemplating whether or not to answer the question. Then, he shook his head.
　　"No, Bobby," he replied softly. "There's nothing. Just memories."
　　Silence enveloped the room once again. Castiel looked down and played with his thumbs. Bobby sighed quietly.
　　"Cas," he eventually said. "I may not know your brother very well, but I know that you guys loved each other very much. He loved you too. I can tell that muc□□ by looking at you. Don't let anyone make you forget how much he meant to you. Even if they do try to hurt you, don't let them win. If your family can't help you, fight against them."
　　Bobby placed his hand on Castiel's shoulder.
　　"Look," he continued. "You've lost so many people in your life. You deserve the happiness and peace that comes with finding love and having a family. So stop beating yourself up. Stop blaming yourself for something that isn't your fault. And let us help you cope with it."
　　Castiel remained silent for several more seconds, considering Bobby's words. Finally, he lifted his gaze and faced Bobby with determination. He then smiled slightly.
　　"Thank you, Bobby," he whispered quietly, reaching out and pulling his guardian into a hug.
　　Bobby awkwardly patted Castiel on the back. When he pulled away, he grinned.
　　"Anytime kid," he said simply.
　　"Now," he added. "Let's go eat before the food gets cold.
　　Dean and Castiel arrived in front of Disneyland less than twenty minutes later. The older boy drove straight through the gates without stopping and parked the car beside the building. Both brothers climbed out of the Impala and slowly made their way into the amusement park. A large crowd of families and couples filled both sides of the parking lot. A huge, bright neon sign announced 'Minnie Mouse' over the entire structure, while various attractions lined the surrounding area. On the right side of the building, there was an arcade playing video games and a roller coaster that spun rapidly. Directly behind Minnie Mouse and next to the arcade was a game called Space Mountain.