《我与他的双向救赎》一叶知境

5、一切都会好起来的 林林，我好

　　第五章
　　常温再次醒来已经是在医院了，他只记得刚才还和林林一起看月亮，后来自己就晕了，好像是因为自己的病，然后就被送到了医院。
　　一旁的徐林心急如焚，他在一旁焦急的询问常温的病情。
　　医生翻了一下手里的病例，“目前根据情况来看，需要整块切除癌灶和可能受浸润胃壁在内的胃的部分或全部，按临床分期标准整块切除胃周围的淋巴结，重建消化道。”
　　“什，什么意思啊？”徐林有些害怕，他害怕常温的病治不好。
　　“目前病人胃里的肿瘤正在扩散，必须及时接受治疗，如果再不治的话就不可能治好了。”医生解释道。
　　徐林听完内心一颤，不过好在还有机会，“医生，我求求你，求求您救救他。”徐林的眼泪终于蹦不住流了出来。
　　“您先稳定下情绪，我们是医生，医生会认真对待每一个病人的。”医生从抽屉拿出纸巾递给徐林。
　　“他不会死吧？”徐林还是担心。
　　“只要积极治疗就会康复，对了，这段时间病人会出现上腹不适、涨满、恶心、呕吐、食欲下降的表现，您尽量多照看着。”
　　“知道了，谢谢您。”确定常温不会死，徐林悬着的心才终于放下了。
　　徐林回到病房，常温已经醒了，徐林赶紧擦干了眼泪坐到常温旁边。
　　“林林，我是不是要死了...”
　　常温心里有些失落，这要是换成以前，他的内心一定毫无波澜，之前他没有什么可留恋的，死了就死了。
　　但现在不一样了，毕竟还有林林，如果自己真走了，他怎么办？
　　“别瞎说，医生说只要及时治疗就能痊愈。”徐林抓住常温的手。
　　“是吗，那挺好的。”听到自己不会死，常温挺高兴的，至少可以陪着林林了。
　　常温伸出手抚摸徐林的脸颊，“林林，你哭了啊，眼睛都红了。”
　　“我刚刚其实也害怕哥哥的病治不好。”徐林抽泣了两声，抓住常温抚摸自己脸颊的那只手，尽管自己已经忍了很久，但是眼泪还是不争气的流了下来。
　　“没事，哥哥会好起来的，治好就没事了。”徐林擦干眼泪笑了笑，“到时候哥哥还带我出去玩好不好？”
　　“好，都依你。”常温一脸宠溺的对着他笑了笑。
　　随后常温的表情就严肃了起来，“林林，你知道为什么你说喜欢我的时候我不想和你在一起吗？并不是因为我不喜欢你，我只是害怕我的病连累你，毕竟你才十五岁，你以后还有大把的时间，遇见更多的人，我只是不想让你在我身上浪费时间。”
　　“我知道我与你在一起会很自私，但我真的喜欢你，我没办法让自己拒绝你，抱歉林林。”
　　“哥哥别这么说，如果不是哥哥，那天在地铁站我就已经死了”，“徐林松开了常温的手，而且医生都说了你的病会好，你还这么丧。”
　　”我是说万一。”常温解释道。
　　“哪来那么多万一啊！”徐林撇了撇嘴。
　　徐林看了一眼时间，快三点了，已经这么晚了，他看了一眼常温，常温已经睡着了，徐林起身关了灯，自己则趴在床边睡着了。
　　中午的阳光实在刺眼，常温被阳光照醒，他缓缓睁开眼睛，手下意识的摸索着，不小心摸到了徐林的头，徐林也醒了，他揉了揉脖子边打哈欠边问:“哥哥醒了？饿吗？我去给你买碗粥吧。”
　　常温有些惊讶，“林林，你昨晚就这么趴在我边上睡着了？”
　　“嗯，也没什么，我昨晚睡得挺好的。”徐林表面上装作若无其事，实际上脖子和腰已经痛得不行了。
　　“林林，你不用对我这么好，我只是个病人，搞不好连命都没了。”常温还是害怕自己的病，与其失去林林，他最害怕的是林林因为自己耽误了一生。
　　“都说了不要说丧气的话，医生都说了你不会死的，你要相信医生，也要相信自己！”
　　“我只是在想，万一…”
　　“都说了没有万一！哥哥，我说过的，同生共死，如果最后不是你，一切都没有意义，哥哥，我只要你。”
　　常温不知道再说些什么，林林的眼眶已经湿润通红，常温一瞬间竟开始自责了起来，医生都说自己会好起来，干嘛还总是担心？自己就这么懦弱吗？
　　时间过得很慢，至少常温是这么觉得，毕竟是病人，除了靠在床上什么也干不了，一分一秒的挨到了傍晚，只想再看一眼那瑰丽的夕阳，常温想，可能是自己的人生太空荡了吧，只是简单的夕阳就能让他留恋许久，那绚丽的夕阳似是有些羞涩，在云层后面遮遮掩掩的落下，云层遮住了它，却遮不住它的绚烂，虽然染不红湖水，但却染红了云彩，这样令人迷醉的场面，却被门外的哭声打断了，他们都因为亲人的死而哭泣，死，是每个人或早或晚都要经历的事，来到这个世界上，每一个人的结局都是死亡，那生命的意义又是什么呢？
　　“哥哥，你怎么样，有没有不舒服啊？”徐林拎着一些东西进来了。
　　“没什么不舒服。”其实他总是犯恶心，但他现在有更重要的事。
　　“林林，你说，死亡是每个人都会经历的事情，既然生命的结局是死亡，那生命的意义又是什么呢？”
　　常温望向林林的眼睛，恰好林林也在看着他。
　　许久，林林认真的给了他一个答案。
　　“我认为，人的一生，就像是一趟没有回程的旅途，我们既然已经决定启程，就不应该再回头，而我们在这旅途中，会遇到很多重要的东西，这些东西的到来和失去，就是生命的意义。”
　　林林在说这些话的时候，夕阳打在他的头发上，眼睛也被阳光照成了琥珀色，却掩盖不住他眼里的认真。
　　这时常温才明白，他的这趟旅途很糟糕，路上一直是空荡荡的，直到遇见了林林，林林就是他这趟旅途中最治愈的风景，是他最重要的东西，也是他活下去的希望。
　　云层也随着太阳落下，只留下了月亮，月亮还和昨天一样柔和似絮，可常温却只能坐在病床上，百无聊赖的看这窗外。
　　这时，林林背着手一路小跑来到他的窗前，神神秘秘的小声说“哥哥，你看我给你带了什么。”
　　“这是，桂花糕？”常温有些意外。
　　“对的，昨天你说好吃，我特意去景区买的，慢慢吃，别噎到。”
　　“谢谢林林”
　　常温小口小口的慢慢吃着，耳边响起林林的声音。
　　“哥哥，你刚才为什么一直往窗外看呢？”
　　“在看月亮。”
　　“哥哥喜欢月亮吗？”
　　可能喜欢吧，毕竟在这病房里待着，这月亮倒是成了风景了，但更多的是留恋吧，留恋那样好的夕阳，那样红的云，那样美的风景，却都随着太阳走了，只留下这满天的星星和孤零零的月亮。
　　“喜欢。”
　　“是这样吗”
　　“哥哥，我给你讲个故事，你要不要听。”
　　“林林想讲，我当然听了”
　　林林脸有些红扑扑的“哥哥，其实以前是没有月亮的，哥哥知道后来为什么又有月亮了吗？是因为月亮发现你是一个很好很好的人，所以月亮只为你一个人而亮。”
　　“是吗，如果非要这么说的话，那你应该是我的月亮。”
　　你是我的月亮，我是你的信徒。
　　天越来越黑，月亮却越来越亮，安静的夜晚，林林搭着常温的手，林林想，一定是那些看月亮的人发明了爱，那样独一无二的月亮，那样独一无二的爱。
　　“哥哥，我会一直陪着你的，就像星星陪着月亮，哥哥，一切都会好起来的。”林林低声的笑起来，明朗欢快。
　　“嗯，会好起来的。”
　　会好起来的，一切都会好起来的。

　　Chang Wen woke up again in the hospital. He only remembered that he was watching the moon with Lin Lin just now. Later, he fainted, as if because of his illness, and then he was sent to the hospital.

　　Xu Lin beside him was so anxious that he anxiously asked about Changwen's condition.

　　The doctor turned over the case in his hand, "At present, according to the situation, it is necessary to remove the whole cancer and part or all of the stomach that may be infiltrated by the stomach wall, remove the lymph nodes around the stomach according to the clinical staging standard, and rebuild the digestive tract."

　　"What, what do you mean?" Xu Lin was a little afraid that the disease at room temperature could not be cured.

　　"At present, the tumour in the patient's stomach is spreading and must be treated in time. If it is not treated, it will not be cured." The doctor explained.

　　Xu Lin trembled after hearing this, but fortunately, there was still a chance, "Doctor, I beg you, please help him." Xu Lin's tears finally couldn't help jumping out.

　　"Stabilise your mood first. We are doctors, and doctors will take every patient seriously." The doctor took out the tissues from the drawer and handed them to Xu Lin.

　　"He won't die, will he?" Xu Lin is still worried.

　　"As long as you are actively treated, you will recover. by the way, patients will have upper abdominal discomfort, swelling, nausea, vomiting and loss of appetite during this period. You can take care of it as much as possible."

　　"I see. Thank you." Sure that the room temperature would not die, Xu Lin's hanging heart finally put down.

　　Xu Lin returned to the ward. The room temperature had woken up. Xu Lin quickly wiped away his tears and sat next to the room temperature.

　　"Lin Lin, am I going to die..."

　　Chang Wen felt a little lost. If it had been before, there must be no waves in his heart. He had nothing to miss before, and he would die.

　　But it's different now. After all, there is still Lin Lin. What if he really leaves?

　　"Don't talk nonsense. The doctor said that as long as you treat it in time, you can recover." Xu Lin grabbed Changwen's hand.

　　"Really? That's good." Chang Wen was very happy to hear that he would not die. At least he could accompany Lin Lin.

　　Chang Wen stretched out his hand and stroked Xu Lin's cheek. "Lin Lin, you cried and your eyes turned red."

　　"I was actually afraid that my brother's illness would not be cured well." Xu Lin sobbed twice and grabbed the hand Changwen stroked his cheek. Although he had endured it for a long time, tears still flowed down angrily.

　　"It's okay. My brother will get better. If he is cured, it will be fine." Xu Lin wiped out his tears and smiled, "Will my brother take me out to play then?"

　　"Okay, it's up to you." Chang Wen smiled at him with a doting face.

　　Then Chang Wen's expression became serious, "Lin Lin, do you know why I didn't want to be with you when you said you liked me?" It's not because I don't like you. I'm just afraid that my illness will implicate you. After all, you are only 15 years old. You still have a lot of time to meet more people in the future. I just don't want you to waste time on me.

　　"I know I will be very selfish with you, but I really like you. I can't let myself refuse you. I'm sorry for Lin Lin."

　　"Brother, don't say that. If it weren't for my brother, I would have died at the subway station that day." "Xu Lin let go of room temperature, and the doctor said that you would be fine. You were still so sad."

　　"I mean in case." The room temperature explained.

　　"Where did it come so much!" Xu Lin curled his lips.

　　Xu Lin glanced at the time. It was almost three o'clock. It was so late. He took a look at the room temperature. The room temperature had fallen asleep. Xu Lin got up and turned off the light, and fell asleep by the bedside.

　　The sunlight at noon was really dazzling. At room temperature, he was woken up by the sunlight. He slowly opened his eyes and groped subconsciously. He accidentally touched Xu Lin's head. Xu Lin also woke up. He rubbed his neck and yawned and asked, "Brother, are you awake?" Are you hungry? I'll buy you a bowl of porridge.

　　Chang Wen was a little surprised, "Lin Lin, you fell asleep on my side last night?"

　　"Well, it's nothing. I slept well last night." Xu Lin pretended to be inconside down on the surface, but in fact, his neck and waist hurt so much.

　　"Lin Lin, you don't have to be so kind to me. I'm just a patient. Maybe I won't even die." Chang Wen was still afraid of his illness. Instead of losing Lin Lin, what he feared most was that Lin Lin had delayed his life because of himself.

　　"I said not to say dejected words. The doctor said that you would not die. You have to trust the doctor and yourself!"

　　"I'm just thinking, in case..."

　　"It's all said in case! Brother, as I said, live and die together. If it's not you in the end, everything will be meaningless. Brother, I just want you."

　　Changwen didn't know what else to say. Lin Lin's eyes were wet and red. Changwen began to blame himself in an instant. The doctors said that he would get better. Why are you always worried? Are you so cowardly?

　　Time flies slowly. At least the room temperature feels like this. After all, he is a patient who can do nothing but leaning against the bed. Every minute into the evening, □□ wants to take another look at the magnificent sunset. At room temperature, maybe his life has wandered in space, but the simple sunset can make him miss it for a long time. The gorgeous sunset. It seems to be a little shy. Behind the clouds, the clouds cover it, but it can't cover its gorgeousness. Although it can't dye the red lake, it dyed the clouds red. Such an intoxicating scene was interrupted by the crying outside the door. They all cried because of the death of their loved ones. Death is what everyone will experience sooner or later. When everything comes to this world, everyone's ending is death. What is the meaning of life?

　　"Brother, how are you? Are you not feeling well?" Xu Lin came in with something.

　　"There is nothing wrong with it." In fact, he always critics nausea, but now he has something more important.

　　"Lin Lin, you said that death is something everyone will experience. Since life ends in death, what is the meaning of life?"

　　Chang Wen looked into Lin Lin's eyes, and Lin Lin also looked at him.

　　For a long time, Lin Lin seriously gave him an answer.

　　"I think a person's life is like a journey without a return journey. Now that we have decided to leave, we should not look back. During this journey, we will encounter a lot of important things. The arrival and loss of these things is the meaning of life."

　　When Lin Lin said these words, the sunset hit him on his hair, and his eyes were made amber by the sunlight, but it could not hide the seriousness in his eyes.

　　At this time, Changwen realised that his journey was terrible. The road was empty until he met Lin Lin, who was the most healing scenery on his journey, his most important thing, and his hope for survival.

　　The clouds also set as the sun set, leaving only the moon. The moon was as soft as yesterday, but the room temperature could only sit on the hospital bed and looked boredly outside the window.

　　At this time, Lin Lin trotted all the way to his window with his back. He whispered mysteriously, "Brother, look what I brought you."

　　"Is this osmanthus cake?" The room temperature is a little unexpected.

　　"Yes, you said it was delicious yesterday. I specially went to the scenic spot to buy it. Eat slowly. Don't choke."

　　"Thank you, Lin Lin"

　　I ate slowly at room temperature, and a forest voice sounded in my ears.

　　"Brother, why did you keep looking out of the window just now?"

　　"Looking at the moon."

　　"Do you like the moon?"

　　Maybe I like it. After all, staying in this ward, the moon has become a scenery, but it's more nostalgic. I miss such a good sunset, such red clouds, and such beautiful scenery, but they all follow the sun, leaving only the stars all over the sky and the lonely moon.

　　"I like it."

　　"Is that so?"

　　"Brother, I'll tell you a story. Do you want to listen to it?"

　　"Lin Lin wants to talk about it. Of course I listened to it."

　　Lin Lin blushed a little. "Brother, in fact, there was no moon before. Does my brother know why there was a moon again later? Because the moon finds that you are a very good person, the moon only shines for you alone.

　　"Really? If you have to say that, you should be my moon."

　　You are my moon and I am your believer.

　　The sky is getting darker and darker, but the moon is getting brighter and brighter. On a quiet night, Lin Lin Lin held his hands at room temperature. Lin thought that those who looked at the moon must have invented love, such a unique moon, such a unique love.

　　"Brother, I will always be with you, just like the stars with the moon. Brother, everything will be fine." Lin Lin laughed in a low voice, brightly and cheerful.

　　"Well, it will be fine."

　　It will be fine, and everything will be fine.