9、AD-GG ...
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1953年1月1日
亲爱的盖勒特，
我很高兴你已意识到不太可能劝我改变计划了，幸亏我们的余生不用通过猫头鹰再来争辩这个问题，不然的话，那该多么遗憾啊。
当然，如你所说，我能感受到“它”以及“它”带来的诱惑。但是老朋友，你是否意识到“它”也是极其危险的呢？关于伊尔马里宁的古老传说想必已经蔓延至极北地区了吧。这说明某些东西必须被摧毁，盖勒特，最关键的在于“它”并非活物。这意味着“它”没有生命力，没有记忆，势必也没有灵魂。因此摧毁“它”也并非谋杀，我们让“它”远离世间，是为了我们子孙后代能够免于腥风血雨的杀戮。
再者，我所惧怕的恰好是“它”力量的一部分，这力量总会蛊惑那些拥有“它”的巫师，唤醒他们深藏于心的可怕念想甚至是扭曲的爱，引诱他们做出疯狂的行径。我感到难过，因为曾经的你也被“它”迷惑过。不过我不会为我必须要做的事道歉——是的——为了更伟大的利益。没有“它”的荼毒，这个世界将更美好。因此打破“它”以血为载体的继承，可以拯救那些沉浸在追权逐利中的巫师，为他们开启一个新的篇章…噢天哪，新的开始。我居然在新年当天写下了这些，这真让人感伤。
只是，再一次地，我很遗憾，也很抱歉使你陷入如此境地。
你一直都是对的。就算说来残酷，可终归是事实——作为你曾经的爱人，我感到羞愧，若你我以前的关系可被定义为“爱人”的话。好在回首往事，我还能给你一丝安慰，这于我倒也不失为一种小小的喜悦。虽然我认为比起我的尖叫，你可能更喜欢听麻瓜们的尖叫，不是吗？
我确实爱用甜食让人们分心，这真是个坏习惯。那就用更多的书来代替甜食吧？我认为格特鲁德的语法怪癖可以给你带来些许乐趣。
最后，盖勒特，我不得不承认，我的思绪沉浸在我们共同度过的少年时光里实在太久了。那种无所畏惧无所保留的心意，那样亲密的联结，在我们分开以后的很长时间，我都不曾再体会过了。你总是对的：我不能改变过去。甚至，我几乎无法否认在那几个月里我确实无比快乐，那时的我们无拘无束肆意放荡、意气风发斗志昂扬，我以为你同你卓越的才华能拯救我。但是代价呢？盖勒特，代价！你抛弃了我，让我独自埋葬我的妹妹，抛给我终其一生可能都无法确认的罪责，留下了支离破碎不再完整的我。
诶天亮了，曙光越过苏格兰山头迎着冷雾绽放，荒凉的野地环绕着霍格沃茨——我敢说这完全贴近你所追求的原始美。厚重的阴云重压着操场边的禁林，我一夜未眠，我…
享受你的阅读时光吧，盖勒特。
阿不思·邓布利多
｛附：艾丽斯·B·托克拉斯自传，格特鲁德·斯坦因著｝
＊＊＊＊原文＊＊＊＊
January 1st, 1953
Dear Gellert,
You do seem to realize that you will not talk me out of my plans for the object in question, for which I am glad. It would be a shame to wear the wings off owls arguing over this for the rest of our lives.
Of course I have felt it, the temptation of it, as you have. But do you realize the danger of it, old friend? Surely the old history of Ilmarinen has spread to your corners of the North. There are some things that must be destroyed. And it is not, Gellert, alive. This is crucial. It has no memory, no soul, no life within it. It is not murder to end it, to prevent it from drowning future generations in blood as it has ours.
One of its powers, I fear, is that the wizards that bond to it do so with an obsessive passion that borders on twisted love. I am saddened to see you affected by this. But I will not apologize for what must be done for--yes--the greater good. The future will be better off without the temptations this thing offers. Breaking its blood inheritance will turn over a new leaf in the relations between the powerful wizards who are steeped in the mysteries...oh, dear. New leaves. I'm afraid that writing on New Year's Day makes me maudlin.
But, yet, again, I am sorry for the condition I must leave you in.
Yet you are correct. Cruel as it is to say, it is the truth--I am ashamed, to have been your lover, if 'lover' is even the word for such as us. Yet it is a small pleasure that I am able to provide you with some comfort through those memories. I thought, though, that you liked hearing the screams of Muggles?
It is a bad habit of mine to distract people with sweets. In lieu of that, perhaps, more books? I think Gertrude's grammatical eccentricities might provide you with some entertainment.
I admit, Gellert, that I've been thinking overlong myself on our boyhood time together. It has been so long since I was so intimate with another, without fear, without withholding. You are correct again: I cannot change history. And it is difficult to deny the joy of those months spent in abandoned pleasure and ambition, when I thought that you and your brilliance would save me. But the cost, Gellert. The cost! You left me burying my sister and forever uncertain of my own decency. You left me with parts of myself I must ever hide.
Ah, here is the dawn, coming up cold and misty over the Scottish hills. No potted fields here around Hogwarts--wild enough for you, I dare say. The clouds are thick round the dark forest near the grounds, and I have not slept tonight, and I...
Enjoy your books, Gellert.
Albus Dumbledore
[enclosure: Everybody's Autobiography, Gertrude Stein]
作者有话说
第9章 AD-GG
