21、大玩一场（第一季Boss战） ...
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还没看第二季的孩纸们慎入，内含剧透。
1st April
The Great Game
4月1日
大玩一场
Sorry for the delay in posting. I needed a few days to get my head around what just happened.
很抱歉这么晚才发上来。最近发生的事情太多，我需要一点时间好好想想。
It began, as everything did, with a big bang. There was apparently a gas leak in the house across the street. Of course, my time living with Sherlock means I know how meaningless the word 'apparently' can be. The police investigated and discovered that the house had been wired with explosives. The only other thing they found inside the house was a box. And inside the box was an envelope. And inside the envelope was, of all things, a bright pink phone. Regular readers of my blog might remember the case I called 'A Study In Pink'. Needless to say, it was a bit of a surprise.
一切始于一场大爆炸。显然那是因为街对面那栋房子煤气泄漏。当然，跟夏洛克住一块，我知道“显然”这个词有多没意义。警察搜查了整栋房子，发现那里头被装了炸弹。他们在房子里发现的唯一一样可疑的东西是个箱子。箱子里有个信封。信封里仅有的，是一个亮粉色的手机。读者们也许还记得被我称作“粉红色的研究”的那个案子。自不必说，这有些惊喜。
As is my sudden use of phrases like "regular readers of my blog". It seems I'm starting to enjoy writing up my life. It helps, though, when I discover that half of Scotland Yard are reading it. More on that later!
既然我突然用了“读者们”这样的词，看上去我好像开始享受生活里有写作这么一件事了。不过它的确很有用，尤其当我发现半个苏格兰场都在读它的时候。就在那天晚些时候！
So, we switched on the phone and there was a message.
于是我们开机，发现那电话里有条语音信息。
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.
哔。哔。哔。哔。哔。
Five beeps or pips. Sherlock knew immediately that it was a warning. There were these secret societies who used to send five orange pips to people as a threat. There was also a picture of an empty flat which Sherlock recognised. It was downstairs. 221C Baker Street! We rushed over there and discovered a pair of trainers.
五声“哔——”或者“哔”。夏洛克马上知道那是一个警告。曾有些地下组织在威胁人的时候就是发去五个橙色的“哔”。还有一张图片，上面是夏洛克认得的一个公寓。贝克街221C楼下的图！我们冲过去，发现了一对运动鞋。
And then the pink phone rang. It was a woman. She was crying. It turns out that whoever was organising all this had arranged for this woman to be kidnapped and wrapped in explosives. If she didn't say exactly what she was told to say... Sherlock, naturally, was immediately caught up in the adventure. Didn't even register that some innocent person somewhere was going through Hell. The crying woman told us we had twelve hours to solve the first problem.
接着那粉红色的手机响了。是个女人的声音，她在哭。有人策划了这一切：绑架这个女人，给她绑上炸弹；如果她不好好转述……夏洛克，自然地，马上开始了冒险，甚至没有意识到某处有个无辜者快下地狱了。那个哭泣的女人告诉我们说，我们有十二小时的时间来解开第一道谜题。
We went to Barts so that Sherlock could examine the trainers. I, as usual, didn't have a clue what the question was never mind the answer. We met up with Molly Hooper who introduced us to her boyfriend, Jim. Apparently, he worked in IT. There's that word 'apparently' again. Oh, and I've just seen how they first met.
我们去了巴兹以便夏洛克能够检查那双运动鞋。我一如既往，连谜题是什么都一头雾水，更别说是答案了。我们遇上了莫丽•胡珀，她向我们介绍她的男朋友吉姆。显然，他在IT部门工作。又是“显然”。噢，我正目击了他们第一次见面的过程。
Anyway, Jim left and Sherlock revealed to Molly that the bloke was clearly gay. As usual, he didn't care that this might,you know, not exactly be what she wanted to hear!
无论如何，吉姆走了，而夏洛克向莫丽揭露说那傻瓜明显是个基友。一如既往的，他完全不关心这——你懂的——是否她真的想要知道的。
So, back to the trainers. Sherlock naturally got me to humiliate myself by examining them myself and getting everything wrong. He told me that they were twentyyears old and that the pollen on them revealed they were from Sussex. Then he remembered a name - Carl Powers, a boy who had died when Sherlock was a kid. Everyone had assumed it was a tragic swimming accident but Sherlock was always confused by the boy's missing trainers. Now they'd turned up twentyyears later and addressed to him. Sherlock discovered traces of Clostridium botulinim on Carl's trainers and concluded that he'd been murdered - the poison having been introduced to Carl's eczema medicine. Sherlock needed to let the killer know he'd worked it out so he typed a message on his website. I know some of you were confused by his bizarre posts the other day.
让我们回到运动鞋的问题上来。夏洛克再次让我自取其辱，他让我自己检查那鞋，结果得出来的结论都是错的。他告诉我说它们有20年历史，上面的花粉证明它们来自苏塞克斯郡。然后他记起了一个名字——卡尔•帕瓦尔斯，一个在夏洛克还是个小家伙的时候就死了的男孩。当时一切表明那是一个意外的泳池悲剧，但夏洛克一直对那男孩的运动鞋不见了这件事感到迷惑不解。现在它们出现了，还被送到他面前——在20年之后。夏洛克在卡尔的运动鞋上发现了肉毒梭菌的痕迹，断言他是被谋杀的——毒药下在了卡尔的湿疹药上。夏洛克需要让杀手知道他已经把第一个谜题解出来了，于是他在自己的网页上发了一条消息。我知道你们中有些人对他前几天那些稀奇古怪的消息感到很困惑。
The crying woman then phoned again and was allowed to tell us where she was. The police found her and she was ok. Sherlock pissed me off though. He described the whole set-up as elegant. I asked him what he meant and he said that "I can't be the only person to get bored". Clearly, the killer was targeting him directly and he loved it.
没一会儿那哭泣的女人又打电话来了。她被允许告诉我们她的位置。警察找到她，她美食。但夏洛克让我很恼火。他形容这整件事很“优雅”。我问他这什么意思，他说：“我不可能是唯一一个感到无聊的人。”很明显，那杀手是冲着他来的，而他乐在其中。
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.
哔。哔。哔。哔。
Another message. Another photo. This time it was of an abandoned sports car. The phone rang. It was a man, as terrified as the woman had been earlier. He told us we had eight hours.▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ from Scotland Yard located the car and Sherlock examined it. It had been hired from a company called Janus Cars by a man called ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓- a man who had disappeared. This one was pretty straightforward for Sherlock. Just one chat with the missing man's wife and a visit to Janus Cars and he had it all wrapped up. It was a simple insurance scam. Again, he posted the answer on his blog. The man wrapped in explosives was found and released. Turns out he'd been in central London. God, if Sherlock had got it wrong... The other thing is, like I say, he was enjoying it. Him and this mysterious killer were playing a game. Me, Mrs H, the people with the bombs, everyone else, we were just pawns. I thought back to a name we'd heard a couple of times - Moriarty. Could this be him When I mentioned this, Sherlock's eyes lit up.
另一条信息。另一幅图。这次的是一辆废弃的跑车。手机响了。是一个男人，跟先前那女人一样被吓坏了。他告诉我们，还有八个小时。苏格兰场的********找到了那车。夏洛克检查了一下。这车是一个叫***•********的男人从杰纳斯车行租来的——这男人失踪了。这件案子对夏洛克来说太简单了。只是跟那失踪男人的妻子聊了两句，然后拜访了一下杰纳斯车行，他就完全弄懂了。这是一个单纯的保险金诈骗案。再一次地，他在博客里贴出了答案。那个被安上炸弹的男人被找到并救了出来，结果他竟然是在伦敦市中心。上帝啊，如果夏洛克弄错了……另一样是，正如我之前所说，他乐在其中。他和这个神秘杀手是在玩一个游戏。我、哈德森太太、被装上炸弹那些人，还有其他所有人，我们只不过是棋子。我想起了一个我们听过几次的名字——莫里亚提。是他在弄鬼吗？我这样说的时候，夏洛克双眼一亮。
Beep. Beep. Beep.
哔。哔。哔。
Another message. A third photo. This time it was someone I recognised but Sherlock didn't have a clue who she was. It's nice to occasionally be the clever one. The picture was of the recently deceased Connie Prince. Apparently, she'd died as a result of a tetanus infection but clearly our killer was suggesting otherwise. Again, we received a phone call. This time it was an old woman - and she was blind. I mean, who would do that How could anyone do that I went along to visit Connie's brother, Kenny. Sherlock went onto some internet forums and, with his usual tact and diplomacy, got answers that way. Between us, we worked out that while Connie's death had been made to look like the result of a tetanus infection, it had actually been caused by poison - their houseboy,▓▓▓▓▓, had overdosed her on Botox! It would have almost been funny were it not for what happened next. Sherlock posted a message to his blog and, like before, the old woman called us. But this one made a mistake. She started to tell us about the man who'd tied her up and... He blew her up.
又一条短信。第三幅图。这次是我认识的人，但夏洛克对她毫无头绪。偶尔比他聪明的感觉真不赖。照片上的是最近去世的科妮•普林斯。很显然她死于破伤风，但明显我们的杀手不这么想。再一次地，我们接到一个电话。这回是个老妇人——她是一位盲人。我是说，谁会干这种事？怎么竟然会有人干这种事？我去见了科妮的弟弟肯尼。夏洛克上了几个论坛，靠他惯常的圆滑手段得到了答案。我们发现虽然科妮之死被伪装成感染了破伤风，但她其实是被毒死的——他们的男仆，*****，让她使用了过量的保妥适（美容用的用肉毒杆菌制成的药物）！
She lived in a block of flats. In Glasgow. Twelve people died.
她住在居民楼里，在格拉斯哥（英国苏格兰中南部港市）。12个人死了。
I still can't quite get my head around it. This game between Sherlock and his... nemesis Is that the right word Twelve totally random innocent people had died because of it. I got so angry with Sherlock that morning. He didn't care. He admitted it. He just didn't care. As he pointed out, caring wouldn't save lives. I asked him if he found it easy not to care and he said yes. It was that simple. Maybe Sally Donovan is right. Maybe he is a freak.
我的脑子还是有点转不过来。这游戏是夏洛克和他的……劲敌？这样说对吗？十二个完全是偶然卷入的无辜者因为这游戏死了。他却一点也不在乎。如他指出的那样，在乎这个无助于拯救他们的生命。我问他，不去在乎这些是否更容易些，他说是。明白了当。也许莎莉•多诺凡说得对。也许他就是个怪胎。
Beep. Beep.
哔。哔。
Another photo. This time of the Thames. Sherlock called Scotland Yard and they told him about a body that had been pulled out of the river. We went along and within minutes, Sherlock had worked out he was a security guard and that he was probably linked to a lost painting that had recently been rediscovered and put on display at the Hickman Gallery. Oh, and he revealed that the painting was a fake. I could explain how he did it but I think it's one of those 'you had to be there' moments. He also worked out what had killed the security guard. I say 'what' although technically it was 'who'. But, having seen the man, 'what' is probably a better definition. He was an assassin known as the Golem. He killed people by squeezing the air out of their body with his bare hands! Why he would have done this to some poor security guard was still a mystery so I went to the guy's flat and discovered a voicemail message from a Professor ▓▓▓▓▓▓. She had called him in response to him having discovered that something somewhere was wrong. The only other clue was that he was into astronomy. Sherlock worked out that the Golem had killed the security guard because he'd worked out that the painting was a fake. We concluded that Professor ▓▓▓▓▓▓ worked at a planetarium and rushed over there. But we were too late. The Golem was there and it killed her. Then, it attacked Sherlock. I don't think I've actually seen him scared before. Me, I was bricking it! I'd seen horror in Afghanistan. But this man was barely human. He really was a monster! I managed to rescue Sherlock (by whacking the Golem with my gun - I never said I was subtle) but the creature got away.
另一幅图片。这次是泰晤士河。夏洛克打给了苏格兰场，他们告诉他河里冲下来一具尸体。我们马上赶了过去，夏洛克发现他是一个保安，很可能与一幅近期才发现的油画有关。那幅画现在正在西克曼画廊展览。噢，他还透露说那幅画是赝品。我没法解释他是怎么做到的，不过我想这就是“你就是得那样想”的时候之一。他还找出了杀死那保安的东西。我用了“东西”这个词，但其实应该是“人”。不过看到这男人之后，我觉得大概还是“东西”这词更准确些。他是个杀手，代号“泥人”。他杀人的时候是空手将人扼死的！为什么他会这样对待这个可怜的保安，这还是个迷。因此我去了这家伙的公寓，发现了一条来自******教授的语音留言。因为发现了哪里有什么东西是错的，于是她给他回了个电话。仅有的另一条线索是他热爱天文。夏洛克推断“泥人”杀那保安是因为他发现了那幅画是赝品。我们断定******教授在天文馆工作于是赶了过去。可惜已经晚了。“泥人”已经到了那里，它杀了她。接着，它袭击了夏洛克。我从没见过他那么恐慌。而我，我在跟“泥人”肉搏！我在阿富汗赢得了荣誉，但这家伙简直不是人，他是个怪物！我本想去救夏洛克（靠着枪击“泥人”——我从来没说过我会智取），但那家伙走开了。
We returned to the gallery and Sherlock confronted the curator. She denied everything - insisting that the painting was real - and there didn't seem to be much we could do. Then the phone rang once more.
我们回到停车场，夏洛克遇上了馆长。她拒绝承认一切，坚持说那幅画是真的——看起来我们什么也做不了。接着电话再一次响了起来。
It was a child.
是个孩子。
The child started to count down from ten. Sherlock was screaming into the phone that the painting was a fake but the killer clearly wanted proof. Sherlock stared at the painting as the child continued to count down to his own death. And then Sherlock, at the last minute, worked it out. It was how the security guard had guessed it was a fake and why he'd phoned a professor at a planetarium. There was a supernova in the painting that didn't appear in our skies until 1858. Therefore, the painting couldn't have been painted by an artist living in the 1640s. The child stopped counting.
那孩子开始倒数十。夏洛克冲着电话吼说那幅画是赝品，然而杀手显然是想要证据。夏洛克盯着那幅画，与此同时那孩子不断继续倒数着自己的死期。然后夏洛克，在最后一分钟揭开了。那个保安之所以能猜出它是赝品并给天文馆的教授打电话就是因为这个。画里有一颗超新星，但那颗星直到1858年才在我们的天空中出现。因此，那幅画不可能是一个生活在17世纪40年代的画家画的。那孩子停止倒数。
The curator admitted that she'd arranged for the painting to be created. She'd been put in touch with various people and they'd all seemed to be working for one man. You've guessed it. Moriarty.
馆长承认她一手打造了这幅画。她与各种人有所接触，而那些人似乎都在为同一个人工作。现在你猜出来了。莫里亚提。
Back at the flat, and we waited for another call. Nothing seemed to be happening though so I decided to visit my girlfriend, Sarah. I had just left the flat when a taxi pulled up alongside me. The taxi driver asked if I wanted a lift but I told him I was getting the Tube. He then said that he hadn't been asking me, he'd been telling me. I looked at him and I saw the gun pointing at me and so I got into the taxi.
回到公寓，我们等待着另一个电话。然而似乎什么事都没有，于是我决定去见我的女朋友莎拉。我刚离开公寓，一辆出租车就在旁边停下。出租车司机问我是否需要乘搭，但我告诉他我要去坐地铁。然后他说，他不是在征询我的意见，而是在告知我这个消息。我看着他，然后看见一支枪指着我，我只能上车。
They must have knocked me out because the next thing I can remember is waking up to the smell of chlorine. I was in a sports centre, near the swimming pool. And I was wearing a bomb. I could feel it under the jacket they'd put me in. Then a voice sounded in my ear and I realised I was wearing some kind of earpiece. It said that I knew the drill and I was to repeat word-for-word what he said otherwise I'd never be writing my blog again.
他们肯定是打晕我了，因为下一件我能记得的就是在一片氯水味里醒来。我在体育中心游泳池附近，身上装着炸弹。我能感觉到它们就在他们给我穿上的夹克衫下面。接着耳朵里听到一个声音，我意识到我正带着耳机一类的东西。那声音说，我懂得规矩的，我得一字一句地复述他说的话，否则我将再也无法写我的博客。
I was made to walk out into the swimming pool area where, I discovered, Sherlock was waiting. The voice in my ear, which I vaguely recognised, told me to say some stuff - which, I realised, gave the impression that I was behind it all. That I, John Watson, was Moriarty. I could see the look in Sherlock's eyes - a flash of, not anger, but hurt. For a second, he looked like a little, lost child. I should have been horrified that he'd even doubt me for a second but, to be honest, it was so refreshingly human of him. He actually did value our friendship. He did, despite himself, care. Then he saw the explosives on me and he realised what was happening.
我被迫走到游泳池边，发现夏洛克正等在那里。耳中的声音——我能依稀辨别——让我说了几句话。我意识到这给人一个印象，似乎我就是那幕后主使，似乎我，约翰•华生，就是莫里亚提。我能看见夏洛克的目光——那不是愤怒，是受伤。有那么几秒钟，他看起来就像个幼小的、被遗弃的孩子（那萧瑟的小背影各种可怜）。我该感到震惊的是那几秒种里他竟然怀疑我，然而说真的，他是如此与众不同的一个人。他真的非常看重我们之间的有意。他真的很看重，尽管他本人并不愿意这样。然后他看到了我身上绑着的炸弹，意识到到底发生了什么事。
And at that moment, out stepped Moriarty. It was Jim. Molly Hooper's boyfriend from the IT department at Barts! Even that little meeting had been part of the game. The two men talked, both clearly pleased to, at last, be face to face. Again, I felt like a pawn in their game. Especially when a laser sight appeared on my chest. One wrong move and some stranger in the dark would shoot the explosives. I watched as they talked. Jim Moriarty was the total opposite to Sherlock but they were also so very alike. He was a consulting criminal. People came to him and he arranged whatever they wanted. And while they talked, I stood there wearing enough explosives to kill all of us. I was the only one who seemed even aware of this. Suddenly, I grabbed Moriarty. I knew that his assistant (his John Watson) wouldn't kill him. But the laser sight simply moved to Sherlock's head and I was forced to let go. For a second, I wondered if Sherlock would have done the same for me but then all I knew for certain was, at that moment, I knew I was going to die.
就在那一刻，莫里亚提登场。是吉姆。莫丽•胡珀在巴兹IT部工作的男友！就连那次小会面也是游戏的一部分。那两个男人聊着，彼此都相当愉快，最终面对面站到了一起。再一次的，我感觉自己只是他们游戏里头的一颗棋子，特别是当一束激光打在我胸前的时候。一步走错，黑暗中的陌生人就会击中炸弹。我看着他们说话。吉姆•莫里亚提与夏洛克截然相反，但他们又是如此相似。他是一个犯罪顾问。人们找到他，他就帮他们安排以且。他们说话的时候，我站在那儿，身上的炸弹足以杀死我们所有人。我似乎是唯一一个意识到这一点的。突然，我盯住莫里亚提。我知道他的助手（他的约翰•华生？）不会杀他。但那激光又移到了夏洛克的头上，我被迫离开。有几秒钟，我在想夏洛克会不会对我做出同样的事，但接下来我唯一能确定的就是，在那一刻，我知道我就要死了。
Except I didn't because Moriarty changed his mind. He said that he'd kill Sherlock one day but that, for now, he was letting us go. It really was just a game to him. He left and Sherlock ripped the explosives off of me. We were getting our breath back when suddenly so many laser sights appeared. Moriarty returned and said he had changed his mind again!! We were going to die, after all. Sherlock simply pointed his gun at the discarded explosives. If we were going to die, so was Moriarty.
但我没有，因为莫里亚提改了主意。他说他总有一天会杀了夏洛克但现在，他准备放过我们。这对他来说的确只是一个游戏。他离开了，夏洛克迅速解下我身上的炸弹。当我们还在平复着自己的呼吸时，突然出现了大量的激光。莫里亚提回来了，说他又改了主意！！不管怎么说，我们快死了。夏洛克用枪指着接下来的炸弹。如果我们要死，那莫里亚提也要陪葬。
I held my breath for what seemed like months. I had no idea what either of them would do. Moriarty clearly had no discernible human feelings and Sherlock had claimed not to care. Could this be it Was I really going to die In a sports centre
我屏住呼吸似乎有数月之久。我不知道他们哪个会先动。莫里亚提明显没有正常人的感情，而夏洛克也说过他“不在乎”。这就是大限吗？我真的要死了吗？在体育中心？
Which is when Moriarty's phone rang. He took the call and called off his gunman. He was letting us live. And, as I finally breathed out, he left.
随即莫里亚提手机响了。他接了电话，然后让他的狙击手收工。他放过我们。而当我终于能喘口气的时候，他离开了。
And that's how Sherlock Holmes and I lived to see another day.
这就是夏洛克•福尔摩斯和我活下来看到第二天太阳的过程。
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十六条回复
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Haha! You're the April fool! You posted this after midday!!
Harry Watson 01 April 12:11
哈哈！你是四月傻瓜！你是在正午过后才发的！！
哈莉•华生 4月1日 12:11
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It's all true, Harry!
John Watson 01 April 12:22
那都是真的，哈莉!
约翰•华生 4月1日 12:22
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PMSL!!!
Harry Watson 01 April 12:24
PMSL（即“笑屎我了”）！！！
哈莉•华生 4月1日 12:24
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I don't even want to know what that means.
John Watson 01 April 12:30
我一点也不想猜你在说什么。
约翰•华生 4月1日 12:30
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That's amazing mate!
Harry Watson 01 April 12:36
这太让人惊讶了伙计！
哈莉•华生 4月1日 12:36
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Sherlock Holmes is a genius!!
Jacob Sowersby 01 April 12:37
夏洛克•福尔摩斯是个天才！！
雅各布•索维斯拜 4月1日 12:37
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your writing style is terrible
theimprobableone 01 April 12:38
你的写作风格太糟糕了。
不可思议的某某 4月1日 12:38
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*comment deleted*
Harry Watson 01 April 12:39
*评论已删除*
哈莉•华生 4月1日 12:39
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How rude!
Marie Turner 01 April 13:12
真是粗鲁！
玛丽•特纳 4月1日 13:12
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It's me, Mrs Hudson again.
Marie Turner 01 April 13:13
是我，又是哈德森太太。
玛丽•特纳 4月1日 13:13
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Shall we just get you a computer for Christmas, Mrs H
John Watson 01 April 13:14
我们是否应该送你一台电脑作为圣诞礼物，哈太太？
约翰•华生 4月1日 13:14
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I do like a good story.
Anonymous 01 April 13:25
我真的喜欢好故事。
匿名 4月1日 13:25
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Still alive then
Sherlock Holmes 01 April 13:28
那么，你还活着？
夏洛克•福尔摩斯 4月1日 13:28
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Oh, very much so. See you soon.
Anonymous 01 April 13:33
哦，当然，生龙活虎。希望很快再见。
匿名 4月1日 13:33
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I'm still so sad about Connie :(
Joy 01 April 13:56
我还是为科妮感到如此悲伤。:(
乔伊 4月1日 13:56
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Do feel free to call me, when you get a moment, John.
Sarah Sawyer 02 April 01:03
有时间给我打个电话吗，约翰？
莎拉•索耶 4月2日 1:03
作者有话说
第21章 大玩一场（第一季Boss战）
