《The breaking of the world》驰月

3、The preparation

　　Now is the morning before military training. I cannot help to think about males. Yes, I hope to explore their bodies, hope to touch their skins and kiss their muscles. I love strong men. But in reality, I am just a ingénue with a bit shy. I am a virgin and I will keep it until the night of my marriage although I often have desire to sex. I have to control it since I am a traditional Chinese girl. The western girls are somehow fortunate. They can follow their instinct and don’t need to consider as much as me.
　　I hold my quilt tightly in my arms, hoping it to give me a sense of safety.

　　“Lichee! Get up! Eat your breakfast immediately and confirm your package!” My dad shouts loudly at the dining table. “I don’t want to hear you forget something when you are in the military school!”
　　Hmm, my dad is a middle-aged man with somehow a bad temper. So I don’t decide to aggregate his dissatisfaction on me. I jump up and throw the quilt back to my bed at once and rush to wash and dress.
　　A new day just begins.

　　“Money, certificate, warm clothes, medicine, water, food …… and the plastic bags for your carsickness Have you brought all of them Check them again. I know you are careless.” My mum is beside my luggage and giving orders to me. She has strong desire for control, which she doesn’t admit. Whenever I mention a bit of her desire, she will straighten her face and aggressively deny. This test is successful every time I try.
　　I check my things again and again. I know I am careless but I hope I can avoid it. But at the moment, I prefer to throw something that my mum force me to take, like the realgar, for driving the snakes away.
　　When finished the checking, I carry my heavy baggage and say goodbye to my parents without any touching plot because my burden is terrible and I want to rush to my destination and unload them. I count the load hanging on me bravely: a large shoulders bag on my back, a heavy messenger bag at my side and a red full bucket in my hand. And I am now in my frog-like green school uniform.
　　“How arresting am I! Too fashionable.” I think aloud and try to keep my bags in their place. “I always need a brother. Then he could carry my baggage for me.”
　　The sky is light blue. Some clouds with pink edges are flying freely in the sky.