《六班逸闻》北临诉

6、2025.6.12

　　“这、这、这……”北临诉被震惊得说不出话来。
　　刚刚结束英语早读，这篇课文也太猎奇了！
　　SATISFACTION GUARANTEED
　　Adapted
　　Larry Belmont worked for a company that made robots. Recently it had begun experimenting with a household robot. It was going to be tested out by Larry's wife,Claire.
　　Claire didn't want the robot in her house, especially as her husband would be away on a business trip for three weeks, but Larry persuaded her that the robot wouldn't harm her or allow her to be harmed. It would be a bonus. However when she first saw the robot, she felt alarmed. His name was Tony. He seemed more like a human than a machine. He was tall and handsome with smooth hair and a deep voice, although his facial expression never changed.
　　On the second morning, Tony brought her breakfast and then asked her whether she needed help dressing. She felt embarrassed and quickly told him to go. Now she was being looked after by a robot that looked so human, and it was disturbing.
　　One day, Claire mentioned that she didn't think she was clever. Tony said that she must feel very unhappy to say that. Claire thought it was ridiculous that she was being offered sympathy by a robot, but she gradually admired his wisdom and integrity and began to trust him. He always treated her with dignity. She told him how she was unhappy that her home wasn't elegant enough for Larry, who wanted to improve his social position with a bigger salary. She wasn't like Gladys Claffern,one of the richest and most powerful women around.
　　As a favour, Tony promised to help Claire make herself more beautiful and her home more elegant. So Claire borrowed some library books for him to read, or rather, scan.She looked at his fingers with wonder as they turned each page. How absurd, she thought. He was just a machine.
　　Tony gave Claire a new hairstyle and improved her makeup. As he was not allowed to accompany her to the shops,he wrote out a list of things that he would need for his work on the house.Claire went downtown and bought these things. She had an appointment to paint her nails, then she went into an expensive clothes shop.The saleswoman there was rude to her, so she rang Tony and told him she was being treated badly. He spoke to the woman,who immediately changed her attitude.Claire thanked Tony, telling him that was a "dear". As she turned around, there stood Gladys Claffern. How awful to be discovered by her, Claire thought. By the look on her face, Claire knew that Gladys thought they were in a relationship.After all, she knew Claire's husband's name was Larry, not Tony. Although it was completely innocent, Claire felt guilty.
　　When Claire got home, she wept. Gladys was everything Claire wished to be. Tony told her she was being sensitive and was just as good as Gladys. He suggested that she invite Gladys and her friends to the house the night before he was to leave and Larry was to return. By that time, Tony expected that the house, which was being completely transformed, would be ready. Tony worked steadily on the improvements. Claire tried to help by working on a light suspended from the ceiling, but she fell off the □□. Even though Tony had been inthe next room, he managed to catch her in time. As he held her, she felt the warmth of his body. She screamed, pushed him away, and ran to her room.
　　The night of the party arrived. The clock struck eight. The guests would be arriving soon, so Claire dismissed Tony for the rest of the night. At that moment, Tony took her in his arms, bringing his face close to hers. She heard him declare that he did not want to leave her the next day, and that he felt more than just the desire to please her. Then the front door bell rang.
　　“这就是人机爱情吗？”同学们的三观简直被震碎了。
　　“呃……可能外国人的观念和我们不太一样……”卷忆讲解完课文，自己也崩不住了。
　　“我们把这篇当作是一个读后续写，那么接下去会发生什么？”
　　“肯定是门铃响了，Tony要离开了，然后下雨了，Claire冒着雨出去找他……”涣迁积极地回答。
　　“你这感觉就是自己在那边臆想！”卷忆哭笑不得，“来看一下原文。”
　　说着，她翻了一页PPT，这一页中有密密麻麻的英文和一张图片。
　　待同学们都看清了图片，全班哗然。
　　图片中一扇玻璃窗将画面分隔成两部分，窗内，男人抓住女人的手腕，二人的脸凑得极近，窗外则有三个人在偷偷窥伺。
　　“看完了吗？”卷忆虽这么问，她也知道我们并没有看文章，而全在看图片了。
　　“有没有翻译环节啊？只看懂了图片啊！”江山梦道。
　　闻言，卷忆还真的简单翻译了下：“她邀请朋友们来参加派对，她的目的就达到了呀，她让别人看到她新装修的房子了。”
　　“难道不是因为朋友们看到她老公很帅吗？”涣迁道。
　　“那不是她老公！”
　　“哦～那是她爱人！”
　　课间，卷忆看到后柜上又放着几个饮料瓶：“把饮料瓶摆在这只有一种可能，就是它太好喝了，既然这样，就请全班都喝。”
　　不久，班长从办公室拿回四瓶饮料：“她叫我们全班分。”
　　“四瓶？全班？”有人不可思议。
　　“她说每人一口，我先拿一瓶，剩下三瓶你们喝，哈哈哈！”

　　南柯正讲评一道选择题：“这题正确答案是D哦，大部分都选到A去了，诶怎么还有两个人选B啊？”
　　“看一下那两个选B的是谁！”汉舟道。
　　“你这人怎么这样，把快乐建立在别人的痛苦之上，选B的同学你们同意吗？”
　　……