《崔玉传中英对照版》KaylieLiu

28、Chapter 27: True Identity

　　As daughters of the Cui family, blessed with innate intelligence and nurtured by deliberate cultivation, we often see things that ordinary people cannot. I saw his situation and the possible future he might have, so from the beginning, even if it wasn't for Zhang Guoying, I would have resisted loving him.

　　崔家的女儿蕙质兰心，又加上后天的刻意培养，我们往往能看出一些常人看不到的事情。我看出了他的处境，也看出了他很可能会有的未来，所以一开始即使不是因为张国英我也会心中抗拒去爱他。

　　No, that's not entirely accurate. As a daughter of the Cui family, if it weren't for Zhang Guoying, I would have approached him for personal gains, like my aunt. Ultimately, I might have used him, only to lose my heart and shatter my soul.

　　不，也不是全部，我是崔家的女儿，如果没有张国英，我也会像姑姑一样为了利益去接近他，最后估计很可能如对待张国英一样，利用他却也让自己丢了心，断了魂。

　　I inherited my aunt's teaching, but I lacked her cold determination. My aunt has always loved power and status, and she has never wavered in that regard, but I have.

　　我得了姑姑的亲传，可是我却没有姑姑的冷静执着。姑姑爱的从来都是权利和地位，这一点，她从来都没有变过，而我却变了。

　　I couldn't bear this man who initially captured my affection and treated me with tenderness, care, and devotion. I would unknowingly let myself fall for him, becoming emotionally attached.

　　我受不了这个原本就让我心生好感并且对我温柔呵护，照顾有加的男人。我会不知不觉让自己沦陷，从而爱上对方，从而感情用事。

　　My love runs deep, but it has never been passionate, never like a moth drawn to a flame.

　　我的爱很深很深，但是从来都不是轰轰烈烈的，从来都不会是飞蛾扑火的。

　　For example, when Zhang Guoying left, I knew I loved and cared for him. However, after weighing the pros and cons, I realized staying was better than leaving, so I stayed.

　　比如张国英的离去，我知道自己爱他，自己在意他，但是在权衡利弊之下留下比离开好，所以我留下了。

　　My love was rational and always accompanied by reason.

　　我的爱有着理智，并且始终带着理智。

　　If not for Liu Hao's pursuit, this man I both loved and feared, I might never have gone looking for Zhang Guoying in my entire life. I would have forever kept my love for Zhang Guoying deep in my heart. When I thought of him, I would walk under the begonia flowers, which would have sufficed for a lifetime.

　　如果不是因为刘昊的追求，这个让我又爱又怕的男人，我也许这一辈子都不会去找张国英，我会把对张国英的这份爱永远地埋藏于心里。想他的时候就到海棠花下去散散步，就这样这一辈子就足够了。

　　When I encountered Liu Hao, I had no choice but to find Zhang Guoying. At that moment, finding him was my best option.

　　就是因为遇到了刘昊，让我不得不去找张国英。因为此时我只有去找他，才是我最好的出路。

　　If I hadn't met Zhang Guoying, I might have loved Liu Hao and possibly devoted my life to him, advancing and retreating together, striving together, devising strategies for him, and pacifying the world. However, because of Zhang Guoying's presence, I felt that it would be a betrayal if I fell in love with someone other than him. Zhang Guoying could marry and love someone else first, but I couldn't allow myself to be that person.

　　如果没有遇到张国英，我很可能会爱他，并且很可能会倾尽一生与他共同进退，共同拼搏，为他出谋划策，平定四方。可是因为有了张国英这一个人，我感觉如果我爱上了张国英以外的人，那么对张国英就是背叛，他张国英可以先结婚，先爱上别人，但是我不能允许我自己做那个第一人。

　　I wasn't entirely sure if Zhang Guoying still felt the same way about me when I went to Liangzhou in the future. He might have fallen in love with someone else or even married by now. Nevertheless, I wanted to find out for myself. If that were the case, I would quietly leave, forget him, and put him out of my mind for the rest of my life.

　　去凉州我也不是很确定张国英对我还是如初，他说不定爱上了别人，说不定已经有了妻子，可是我还是想自己去确定一下，如果他真的如此，那么我也会一个人默默地离开，把他忘记，一辈子忘掉。