《赐她阳光》公子好生俊俏

151、未应

　　第151章

　　薇尔莉蒂的安全屋离芝加哥不远。

　　允熙穿着灰蒙蒙的袄子，将自己打扮得很不起眼，坐着破旧的大巴一路回了芝加哥，又从车站走小路绕开监控步行走回公寓。

　　之所以冒着风险回来是因为她的许多必需品落在了这里，包括武器、抑制剂、应急的钱和各种□□。

　　为了避人耳目，她没有坐电梯，而是爬楼来到屋前，果不其然警察来过了，门口还有残留的警戒条。

　　她张望了一下四周，确认没有人后直接走了过去用钥匙打开房门，在一片狼藉中小心翼翼地走向自己的房间，翻找着藏在天花板暗格里的物品。

　　收拾好东西刚要走，门口却突然传来动静，她以为有敌人于是立即拔枪，身体贴着墙，听着外头的一举一动。

　　“Is anybody there? Yunxi, is that you?（有人在吗？允熙，是你吗？）”

　　听出是文森的声音，允熙松了一口气，但是仍然没有放下枪。

　　“Yeah.（是我。）”允熙回答，走出来与文森打了个照面。

　　文森穿着西装站在门口，手里还拎着公文包，看见允熙喜出望外，笑着跑过来想抱住她。

　　允熙单手推开他，“Hey, hey, hey, what's the matter with you? Didn't I tell you not to come back?（喂喂喂，你怎么回事？我不是告诉你不要回来了吗？）”

　　“You didn't tell me what was going on, and I was worried about you. After the police came, I came every day after work, hoping to see you again. Fortunately, you came back!（你没告诉我到底发生了什么事，我很担心你，警察来过之后，我每天一下班就过来看看，希望能再见到你，幸好你回来了！）”

　　说着，文森不顾允熙阻拦，给了她一个大大的拥抱。

　　允熙无奈地翻着白眼，“Oh, come on, I've only been gone for two days.（哦，至于嘛，我也就离开了两天。）”

　　文森则是抱紧了她，“I thought you'd never come back.（我以为你再也不会回来了。）”

　　“Hey, Are you... Are you crying?（嘿，你……你是哭了吗？）”允熙听出文森的声音有些鼻音，感到十分意外。

　　“No.（没有。）”文森嘴硬，“I just... I just so worried about you.（我只是……我只是太担心你了。）”

　　“Don't worry. I'm fine.（不用担心，我没事。）”允熙拍了拍他的背，他才松开手，允熙紧接着说道：“But I have to go now. I think this is the last time we're gonna see each other. You're gonna have to find yourself a new apartment and a new roommate. Take care of yourself. Bye.（不过我现在得走了，这应该是我们最后一次见面了，你得再给自己找一个新公寓和新室友了，以后好好照顾自己，拜拜。）”

　　文森赶紧拦住她，“Why? Where are you going?（为什么？你要去哪里？）”

　　“I don't know.（我也不知道。）”允熙实话实说，她现在的打算是走一步看一步。

　　“If you don't know, why don't you come with me?（既然你也不知道，为什么不跟我走呢？）”文森眼神十分真诚，“I can take care of you.（我可以照顾好你。）”

　　“You can take care of me? Come on.（你照顾我？得了吧。）”允熙摆摆手，“You don't know what kind of trouble I'm in, and I can't even solve it myself, let alone you.（你不知道我惹上了怎样的麻烦，我自己都不一定能解决，更别提你了。）”

　　“Trust me! Yunxi!（相信我！允熙！）”文森握住允熙的肩膀，“My uncle works for the military. He can provide us with security.（我叔叔在为军方工作，他可以为我们提供安全的保障。）”

　　“Oh, god.（哦，天呐。）”允熙翻着白眼扶额，“You do realize I'm on a red notice, right? Genius. It's a good thing the army doesn't catch me. Do you think they'll protect me? Who's your uncle? MacArthur?（你应该知道我是红色通缉令上的人吧？大聪明。军方不抓我算不错了，还能保护我？你叔谁啊？麦克阿瑟吗？）”

　　“Hey, why don't we run away together? How about going to Switzerland? Or maybe Finland!（嘿，那我们一起逃跑吧？去瑞士怎么样？或者芬兰也不错！）”文森继续提议。

　　允熙推开他，“Running for your life is not a trip. It's not as easy as you think, and why do I have to bring you with me? You're not a fugitive, you're not being hunted, you're a normal person, and you can go about your normal life.（逃命又不是去旅游，没你想的那么简单，还有，我为什么一定要带上你？你又不是逃犯，也没有被追杀，你就是个普通人，你可以继续过你的普通生活。）”

　　“I don't want a fucking normal life. I want a life with you!（我不想过该死的普通生活，我想和你一起生活！）”

　　文森吼叫着说出了内心真实的想法，着实把允熙惊到了。

　　“What? What are you talking about?（什么？你在说什么？）”允熙一脸纳闷地看着他。

　　文森低着头，随即抬头鼓足勇气说道：“I like you, Yunxi. I... I think I'm in love with you.（我喜欢你，允熙，我……我想我是爱上你了。）”

　　“What the hell?（什么鬼？）”允熙嘴角抽搐，这完全出乎她的意料。

　　“Don't you have any feelings for me?（你难道对我一点感觉都没有吗？）”文森深情款款地问道。

　　“No.（没有。）”允熙直截了当地回答：“Not at all.（一点都没有。）”

　　“Then why did you go to the prom with me?（那你为什么要陪我参加毕业舞会？）”文森急切地追问。

　　允熙耸耸肩解释道：“I told you, I owe you one. I lost my cool at your place, so I made it up to you by being your date.（我说了，我欠你一次，在你家的时候我失态了，所以我当你的舞伴补偿你。）”

　　“What?（什么？）”文森一脸受伤的表情，“You went to the prom with me just to pay me back?（你陪我参加毕业舞会，只是为了还我的人情？）”

　　“Uh-huh. Oh, and because you're a great roommate.（嗯哼，哦对了，还因为你是个很棒的室友。）”允熙手插口袋，淡定回复。

　　“But… But…（但是……但是……）”文森不知所措，努力组织语言说道：“Yunxi, I really like you. I've been tempted since the first time I met you, and I've been afraid to admit it or tell you how I feel about you. But when I heard your phone message, I thought I'd never see you again. At the thought of it, I was really going crazy.（允熙，我是真的喜欢你，从见你第一面我就动心了，我一直不敢承认，也不敢告诉你我对你的感觉，可当我听到你的电话留言的时候，我以为我再也见不到你了，一想到这一点，我真的快要疯了，既然现在老天让我再见到你，我不愿意再错过你。）”

　　允熙听完后叹了口气，“Hey, Vince, I appreciate you liking me, but I'm gonna have to say no.（嘿，文森，我谢谢你喜欢我，但我还是得拒绝你。）”

　　“Why?（为什么？）”文森快要哭了。

　　“We are not a same kind.（因为我们根本不是一个世界的人。）”允熙说得毫不留情，“You graduated from a prestigious university, you have a rich family, loving parents, a decent job, you have a bright future. But I'm just a criminal with nothing. Why would you throw away a bright future and get involved with someone like me?（你毕业于名牌大学，家境殷实，父母恩爱，有体面的工作，你前途无限啊，而我只是个一无所有的通缉犯，为什么你要抛弃大好的未来和我这种人扯上关系？）”

　　“Because I love you.（因为我爱你。）”文森红着眼眶，看着脆弱又坚定，“Why do you put yourself down like that? You're the most amazing girl I've ever met. Why do you always feel like you're nothing?（你为什么要那么贬低自己？你是我见过最棒的女孩，为什么你总觉得自己一无是处？）”

　　“Because I'm nothing!（因为我就是一无是处！）”允熙冷漠回答，“Vincent, you're a grown man now. Think about the consequences before you do anything. Your parents didn't raise you to run off with a female fugitive.（文森特，你好歹也是成年人了，做事之前动动脑子，考虑一下后果。你爸妈把你养那么大不是为了让你跟一个女逃犯私奔的。）”

　　文森并没有被说服，“You can go on living under a false identity like you are now, or I can get the best lawyers to fight for you, get you out of this criminal thing, and I'll be on your side for as long as you want.（你可以继续像现在这样用假身份生活啊，或者我可以找最棒的律师为你打官司，帮你摆脱罪犯的身份，只要你愿意，我会永远站在你这边。）”

　　允熙愣了一下，心脏某处柔软的地方像是被狠狠戳了一下。

　　只要你愿意，我会永远站在你这边。

　　这句话，从来没有人对她说过。

　　可即使有所触动，她依然铁着心说道：“No, I don't need your help.（不需要，我不需要你帮我。）”

　　文森抓了抓头发，眼角垂着，可怜得像是被主人抛弃的大型犬，“Why? You don't like me that much? I can work hard until you like me, if you are willing to give me a chance...（为什么？你就这么不喜欢我吗？我可以努力，一直到你喜欢上我为止，只要你愿意给我机会……）”

　　“Vincent.（文森特。）”允熙冷静叫出他的名字，平静地看着他的眼睛说道：“My cancer wasn't getting better. I only had four or five years to live at most, and I just wanted to be alone for the rest of my life.（我的癌症并没有好转，我最多只能再活四年或者五年，在余下的生命里，我只想一个人待着。）”

　　文森愣住了，反应过来的时候眼角已经红了，泪水在眼眶里打转，“No, you're not going to die. I can take you to the best doctor...（不，不会的，你不会死的，我可以带你去找最好的医生……）”

　　“It's not gonna work, Vince.（没用的，文森。）”允熙语气稀松平常，“I'm ready to die, and I've had so much fun with you. You're the best roommate in the world.（我早就准备好迎接死亡了，和你在一起的这段日子，我很开心，你是世界上最棒的室友。）”

　　文森哽咽着，低头擦了一下眼睛，“Why... Why is the world always so unfair, I just realized that I fell in love with you, is going to lose you, this is so cruel.（为什么……为什么老天总是如此不公平，我才意识到自己爱上了你，就要失去你了，这太残忍了。）”

　　“Hey, man, don't cry.（嘿，伙计，别哭啊。）”允熙玩笑似的轻轻捶了他胸口一拳，“I feel lucky to be liked by you, after all, no one has ever liked me.（能被你喜欢上，我觉得自己很幸运，毕竟从来没有人喜欢过我。）”

　　文森忍着悲伤说道：“Well, so the people you've met have really bad judgment, and they have no idea what they're missing out on.（好吧，那你遇见过的人眼光真的都很差，他们根本不知道自己错过了怎样美好的一个人。）”

　　允熙听后难得露出了一个发自内心的笑，她上前抱了抱文森，然后故作轻松地说道：“I gotta go. Call me when you miss me. Bye.（我得走了，以后想我了可以给我打电话，拜拜。）”

　　说完，她挎上背包，绕过文森离开。

　　“Hey.（嘿。）”文森转身叫住她。

　　允熙回头，看着文森那红着眼执着的模样。

　　“Do you believe in love?（你相信爱吗？）”文森的手紧紧抓着衣服下摆，声音颤抖着看着允熙问道。

　　允熙则是淡淡回道：“Good bye, Vince.（再见，文森。）”

　　说完，她头也不回地离开。

　　坐在破破烂烂的公交车上，她压低帽檐遮挡住脸，呆呆地回想着文森最后问出口的问题。

　　你相信爱吗？

　　信吧。

　　不然怎么咬牙坚持了这么久呢？

　　不然怎么能撞得头破血流仍然不回头呢？

　　她再度回想起那部电影里的女主角，在一次次辜负和背叛中仍然挣扎着站起来，带着满身伤痕迎着夕阳，泪光闪烁，神情倔强，哽咽地说出——

　　只要有爱，我就能活下去。

　　可最终，那位以爱为信仰的女主角下场是什么样的呢？

　　见弃于人，众叛亲离，自暴自弃，肥胖残疾，孤独无依。

　　刚想再次振作起来，却被一群孩子杀死在一个极为普通的夜里。

　　她的信仰，没有拯救她。

　　正如现实里，也不会有人来拯救她允熙。

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