《□□》唐紫

5、Chapter 5. Germany X Austria 乱世怨偶

　　If possible, Ludwig didn’t want to admit his affection to Roderich at all. To start with, Roderich used to be his guardian and supervisor in his early childhood. It sounded awkward for one to get off with a senior. Secondly, he was not single now. He had a lover, Feliciano. It was immoral for one to have a foot in both camps, especially when it comes to love affairs. Last but most importantly, Gilbert, his elder brother, and Roderich had loved each other since long before. It seemed impossible for him to cut in. However, all his rationales and reasons vanished as Ludwig kept Roderich as his ally and turned this ally into his wife a couple of decades later. [我勒个去这段简直可以当作要点类作文的范文了，有主题句，有123分论点，每个论点有论述，最后来一个总结。]

　　Ludwig remembered his first time meeting with Roderich. He was quite young and was sent to Roderich’s by Gilbert, who had to head off to the battlefield to fight against axeman.
　　After settling down everything in the house for his younger brother, Gilbert grabbed his hat and went to the front door, followed by Roderich, who intended to see him off.
　　Not feeling free like at home and fearing that Gilbert would leave him behind forever, Ludwig rushed to the foyer, seeing Gilbert and Roderich hugging each other tightly.
　　Gilbert kissed Roderich and comforted him with promises that he would be back soon. It was a long deep kiss far beyond a farewell kiss and full of love and passion in which the two forgot the surroundings.
　　Ludwig hided himself behind the door to the foyer and wondered what on earth grown-ups could get from such a kiss.
　　‘Ve~ It’s not polite for a good boy to eavesdrop others.’ Suddenly someone held Ludwig in arms from behind and pulled him back to the drawing room.
　　‘Put me down! Who are you’ Ludwig struggled to get to the ground and frowned, looking up at a teenager standing in front of him, with silly smile on the face.
　　It was in Roderich’s house that he met Feliciano Vargas, who was brought up in Roderich’s home as a child bride for someone long ago.
　　When Ludwig got familiar with Feliciano later on and began to accept the life in Roderich’s house, he began to call Roderich mom secretly as Feliciano did because Roderich was really like a wordy mother who cared about everything the two little ones did. He was even more motherly than his wife, Elizaveta.

　　Mother!
　　The word thrilled Ludwig, made him shiver and drew him back from his childhood memory. That’s too ridiculous, he told himself, to see Roderich as his mother. He braced himself up and concentrated on the negotiation talks with Elizaveta and Feliciano.
　　‘Ve~ Ludwig, please don’t marry Mr. Roderich.’ Feliciano was about to cry. But Ludwig could tell it was not because his not wanting him to marry someone else but some other reason.
　　‘I know you are now strong, powerful and invincible. But you must pay attention to your actions. You are making enemies everywhere recently and you will soon pay these back if you do not stop. Now you even want to marry Roderich… Yes I confess I still love him, but I will do whatever is good for him. If your marriage to him is right I will bless you, but…’ Elizaveta sobbed, ‘Please… I beg you, Ludwig. Do not marry him… unless…unless you want to end up with Oedipus tragedy.’
　　Oedipus tragedy! Ludwig was annoyed; of course he knew what Freud’s Oedipus Complex was about. Why did Elizaveta compare Roderich and him as mother and son Calling Roderich mom was just a secret trick between him and Feliciano, and not all guardians had to be parents. Besides, if it must come to a family relationship, concerning the relation between Gilbert and Roderich and that Gilbert was Ludwig elder brother, Roderich was much more a brother than a mother.

　　Ludwig remembered that day when they received a letter informing that Gilbert was injured in the war. They were having dinner when the letter was delivered to Roderich’s house. Elizaveta just shrugged her shoulders and commented that it was magical for Gilbert to survive so long for he was always irritable and careless. Feliciano was about to cry for anyone who had bad luck. Ludwig was extremely worried about his brother and eager to know details, but he dare not show it after he found Roderich was pale and faraway, which made him realize that the beautiful Roderich was actually vulnerable.

　　That very night Roderich dressed up and brought Ludwig to the battlefield to see Gilbert.
　　Gilbert was not as badly wounded as they had imagined and he was super excited at the unexpected sight of Roderich and Ludwig.
　　Roderich and Ludwig stayed for a couple of weeks to look after Gilbert. Though the war was cruel and boring, Ludwig was happy to live with Gilbert and Roderich like a family. Usually the three slept on Gilbert’s narrow tent bed together, with Ludwig sleeping between Roderich and Gilbert. But Ludwig often woke up in the morning finding himself close to the wall and Roderich in Gilbert’s arms. [娃儿你发现的太多了……所以早教很重要啊！在娃儿面前不检点的马鹿夫妻{现在还不是夫妻……}！！！]
　　One night Gilbert had to discuss military strategies with generals and came back to his dorm room late finding Roderich patting Ludwig to sleep. Gilbert was glad not to wait for too long before Ludwig fell into asleep and he took off his clothes as quickly as possible and got on bed ready to enjoy Roderich.
　　‘No,’ Roderich resisted Gilbert’s kiss on his neck, ‘don’t do this in front of kid.’
　　‘What kid’ Gilbert frowned and put his hand in Roderich’s night-suit.
　　‘Ludwig of course. It’s not good for a kid to see this.’ Roderich tried his best to keep Gilbert off his body.
　　‘He’s sleeping.’ Gilbert took a rough look at Ludwig in Roderich’s arms and pulled Roderich into his arms.
　　‘No, maybe not yet.’ Roderich hesitated and gave in.
　　‘He’s already been soundly asleep like a log.’ Gilbert stripped Roderich impatiently, throwing the night-suit out of quilt.
　　‘I’m not sure…’ Roderich blushed as Gilbert sealed with a kiss.

　　That night was the very beginning when Ludwig became aware of the relation between Gilbert and Roderich. From then on he usually woke up finding Gilbert and Roderich making love, sometimes on the other head of the tent bed, sometimes on Gilbert’s desk in piles of files. Although he pretended he was still asleep, the little boy was amazed by Roderich’s beauty and oomph. He felt jealous of Gilbert, imagining himself on Roderich. However quickly and secretly Ludwig matured, he never behaved as if he had known it until he brought Roderich in front of the altar.

　　‘Will you marry me’ Ludwig, who was then tall and handsome, mature and powerful, stared eagerly at Roderich, the beauty whom he had dreamed of since childhood.
　　‘You’ve settled everything and everyone, right, including Feliciano and Gilbert’ Roderich closed his purple eyes for a little while, ‘Just let you know, firstly, I raised Feliciano as a child bride, for someone long before but for you now.’
　　‘I only want you.’ Ludwig’s heavy breath immersed Roderich, ‘Be mine. I’m serious.’
　　‘Secondly, I love Gilbert,’ Roderich looked at Ludwig fearlessly, ‘I don’t think I would be an eligible wife for you. If I had to be the bride for your family as your boss and people insist, I should be his wife, not yours. I convince I am the last one in the world to make you happy.’
　　‘I don’t care.’ Ludwig hugged Roderich, whispering into his ears, ‘I have dreamed of this long ago since I saw you under my brother, groaning like a beautiful melody. I believe I have all that it takes to make you happy like that. So I swear I will marryyou when I grow up.’
　　‘If you insist, I do.’ Roderich wept, waiting for the wretched destiny as Ludwig’s longing kiss fell.

　　The marriage meant war, which everyone knew. As the situation went tenser, Roderich tried to persuade Ludwig to let him go to the frontline. However, Ludwig, the husband who had tried every effort to keep his wife away from his brother at home, refused his request for safety concern.
　　‘It’s OK, Ludwig.’ Roderich comforted the exhausted young man, ‘I’m not as effeminate as you thought. I used to fight bravely many times before. I can fight and go to battlefield as you do.’
　　‘I’ve already let you in charge of all intelligence agencies for the war. So where are you going any further’ Ludwig stared at Roderich, watching him become pale and guilty.
　　‘I just want to do something directly.’ Roderich lowered his head, looking at his hands on knees and avoiding Ludwig’s sight.
　　‘Are you heading for the battlefield for me or my brother, to fight for our empire or to fight with my brother side by side’
　　Roderich kept silent and did not respond.
　　‘I don’t believe I am inferior to Gilbert. Why do you still love him I can do whatever he did for you. Why are you always looking at him’ Ludwig shouted.
　　‘You are the best person in the world, and probably the best husband I have ever had. But you are not what I want. I’m sorry, Ludwig. If there is no war, I may choose you; choose a peaceful and plain life; be an eligible wife; try my best to love you… But you know the situation nowadays. Everyone must put his personal feeling aside. We are family; we need to work together. Gilbert is at the frontline in the east. You are busy with the west and south. I can spare some burden from both of you…’
　　‘Shut up,you cheating soul! You shall go nowhere! Just stay at home!’ Ludwig was disappointed. He put on his hat and got ready to the battlefield. Before he shut the door, he took a final look at Roderich who sat beside the piano he brought from hometown. Roderich was still quiet and gentle. His purple eyes were still clear and bright as if there had never been any evil or fear. What indeed supported him Ludwig closed the door and looked up at the dark cloudy sky. Of course that was not him. It was Gilbert who was then far away.