《为爱唯爱(英文篇)》江枫不眠

4、越界的占有欲与冰冷的沉默 The

　　The air outside the convenience store seemed to freeze, heavy with unspoken tension.

　　Watching Lin Xu’s retreating figure, the irritation in Zhang Heyu’s chest didn't subside. Instead, it was like throwing oil on a fire, burning hotter and fiercer. He turned to glare at Lu Cheng'an’s placid, unbothered face, and a heavy, suffocating tightness gripped his chest.

　　"Why did you just drag me away?" Zhang Heyu’s voice rose, laced with unmistakable anger. He didn't even realize the thick, sour tang of jealousy dripping from his tone. "He was just being nice enough to bring you something. Who were you scowling at? Do you have any idea how hurtful that is?"

　　Lu Cheng'an stopped in his tracks and turned to face him. His gaze remained as still as a bottomless, stagnant pool.

　　"That's none of your business," Lu Cheng'an said softly. The volume was low, but every word cut like a blade.

　　"How is it none of my business!" Zhang Heyu snapped, bristling like a cat whose tail had been stepped on. He took an aggressive step forward, his eyes brimming with a mix of grievance and fury. "I'm your deskmate! You sit around with a perpetual scowl, pushing away anyone who tries to be nice to you. What kind of aloof act are you putting on? Who do you think you are?"

　　The more he spoke, the more agitated he became. He was angry at Lin Xu’s lingering presence, but he was equally furious at Lu Cheng'an’s inexplicable, unspoken leniency toward him. He was mad at himself for feeling jealous like a clown, without even having a title to claim any right to it.

　　"Enough." Lu Cheng'an’s voice suddenly dropped an octave, cutting off Zhang Heyu’s outburst.

　　Looking at the reddened corners of Zhang Heyu’s eyes, a strange, inexplicable irritation flared in Lu Cheng'an’s chest. He despised this feeling of losing control, and he hated it even more when someone poked at the vulnerabilities he tried so desperately to hide.

　　"Zhang Heyu," Lu Cheng'an’s gaze swept coldly over Zhang Heyu’s face, his tone carrying a sharp warning. "You're overstepping your boundaries."

　　Zhang Heyu froze. Staring into those utterly temperatureless eyes, the blazing fire of his anger was instantly extinguished, leaving him shivering from the icy water.

　　"Overstepping?" Zhang Heyu gritted his teeth, his eyes rimmed with red. He took a deep breath, as if trying to swallow all his grievances back down. "Fine. I was meddling. Lu Cheng'an, you'd better remember what you said today."

　　With that, he spun around sharply and strode toward the classroom, never looking back.

　　Standing in place, Lu Cheng'an watched the furious, retreating figure, his brow furrowed tightly.

　　He had only meant to draw a clear line, to keep Zhang Heyu from interfering in his matters with Lin Xu. So why, when Zhang Heyu actually turned and walked away, did a sudden, inexplicable wave of panic and emptiness wash over him?

　　He took a deep breath, forcing himself to calm down.

　　He was straight. He couldn't possibly like Lin Xu, and he certainly couldn't like Zhang Heyu. He was simply accustomed to being alone and disliked being disturbed. That was all.

　　Lowering his eyes, Lu Cheng'an casually tossed the bottle of oolong tea Lin Xu had left into a nearby trash can. Then, he turned and walked steadily back toward the classroom.

　　When he returned, Zhang Heyu was already at his seat. He was slumped over his desk, his face buried in his arms, completely motionless—like a wounded little beast licking its wounds in solitude.

　　Lu Cheng'an walked to his seat and glanced at the boy with tightly shut eyes beside him. His fingers curled slightly. For a fleeting second, he wanted to reach out and touch that fluffy hair, but ultimately, he suppressed the urge.

　　He pulled out his chair, sat down, and opened his book, pretending to be entirely engrossed in reading.

　　Zhang Heyu didn't lift his head to look at him once.

　　For the entire afternoon, neither of them spoke a single word. The silence between them was deafening, thick with the weight of unsaid words and bruised pride.

　　Slumped over his desk with his eyes closed, Zhang Heyu could still distinctly feel Lu Cheng'an sitting right beside him. That familiar, cool aura lingered at the tip of his nose, yet Zhang Heyu felt that the distance between them was farther than it had ever been.

　　He knew he had lost his temper because he cared, and because he was jealous. He also knew that Lu Cheng'an’s words—You're overstepping your boundaries—were a merciless push away.

　　All he could do was endure it silently, and observe quietly.

　　And though Lu Cheng'an appeared focused on his book, his peripheral vision never left the quietly slumbering boy beside him.

　　He watched Zhang Heyu’s shoulders tremble slightly as he suppressed his emotions, and stared at the pale nape of his neck exposed above the school uniform collar. His mind felt like a tangled ball of yarn, growing more chaotic the more he tried to untangle it.

　　He didn't want to admit that he actually felt a bit of regret. The sharp, defensive words he had hurled now echoed in his ears, feeling less like a shield and more like a self-inflicted wound.

　　He even less wanted to admit the terrifying truth: when Zhang Heyu had angrily yelled at him just now, he hadn't actually... minded it. Beneath the icy surface, a strange, treacherous part of him had been thrilled by the sheer, unfiltered passion in Zhang Heyu's eyes. He was terrified by this sudden, overwhelming emotion that made him feel entirely out of control, an intruder in his own carefully constructed fortress.

　　Outside the window, the sunset gradually sank. The afterglow filtered through the glass, casting a warm, tangerine glow across the desk between them.

　　Zhang Heyu finally lifted his head. His eyes were slightly red from being pressed against his arms for so long. He glanced at Lu Cheng'an, who was still maintaining his icy, stoic expression and staring straight ahead. A bitter smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.

　　Then, he silently packed his bag, stood up, and walked out of the classroom without looking back.

　　Listening to the familiar footsteps fading away, Lu Cheng'an waited until the classroom was completely silent before slowly raising his head to look at the empty seat beside him.

　　The desk still held the lingering warmth of where Zhang Heyu had been resting.

　　Lu Cheng'an reached out, his fingertips gently brushing against that fading trace of heat, as his gaze gradually deepened into something profoundly complex.