《West of Arda》Losengriol

4、Chapter four

　　I packed light the night before departure. There was very little to take with me.

　　In my bedchamber there stood a small chest with a lock. It contained most of the gemstones I was gifted by Finw? and his family, as well as jewels wrought by Lady Finvyl?e herself. There were a few pieces from friends during the high festivals, including a set of rings Ecthelion and I obtained as a funny joke during the Market Day of Valimar.

　　I did not pack it with me. The foreboding feeling would not be expelled. No living has ever gone to the Hall of the Spirits. Almost certainly the Avatars would make sure that I was exempted from this law, especially it was the personal request from the Master of the Mandos himself for me to enter his realm.

　　Yet I did not want to take the chest that contained some of my most valuable memories with me, for I could sense they would also be lost.

　　Laurelin had cast its golden light once again over the white hill. My bedchamber was on the second floor overlooking the back garden. In the near distance, the white tower of Ingw? stood high at the top of the city, adorned by innumerable gemstones, shining like a silver beacon.

　　The stone walls, marble floors and arched tall window framed by gossamer fabric were all basked in the golden light. I farewelled silently to this comfortable cage.

　　Breakfast was light. The King-sister sat at the head of the table. Father sat at the other end. I glanced around but did not see my mother’s presence.

　　“Your mother has fallen ail this morning.” Lady Finvyl?e said in an even tone.

　　After we finished the meal, my luggage was carried onto a carriage. The coachman greeted Lady Finvyl?e and my father in turns. He was a servant of Lord Námo and was rarely seen outside the Door of Nights.

　　When the Maiar motioned me to be on board, I hesitated for a moment and turned around once again to face the stone residence with lush gardens and long corridors adorned by lamps. Lady Finvyl?e stepped forward from her group of ladies in waiting and bade me farewell.

　　Before she could speak, two riders appeared from the bottom of the staircase that led up to the front gate. Silver haired V?ssaire and Fányamaro approached the courtyard. Seeing the sight of her favourite grandchild, Lady Finvyl?e retained her stern expression, but did not openly scold them.

　　“Where are you sending Kalacirya?” V?ssaire enquired. “Why did we not receive words?”

　　I was unfamiliar with my elder sister. She had already just reached majority when my mother was pregnant with me. After the disastrous postpartum, she was old enough to go to Aqual?nde to live with our mother’s kin. She returned to Losengriol to live with them not after long. I did not see my sister or brother unless it was high festivals.

　　Her outrage was strange to me. Then she seemed to muster up enough courage to press on: “We are also descendants of Lord Námo; why was she the only one chosen to be their pupil?”

　　The King-sister did not take kindly to this line of questioning. She shot V?ssaire a withering look. “The decision of the Aratars is not yours to question. Stay out of it!”

　　The pair of scolded siblings wisely edged away and disappeared into the shadow. Lady Finvyl?e turned around to face me again. Her look was suddenly gentle.

　　“May you stay safe and straight, honour your family and ancestors, gain wisdom and skills, by the blessings of Our Father Ill?vatar, the guardians of Arda, as well as from whom you descended from.” Her voice was clear and solemn. I could not discern any disdain or mockery from her serene expression.

　　“I thank you for your shelter.” This came to my heart, and I said to her with a certain serenity as well.

　　With this I was finished with her. Then I turned to my father, who had been standing in the shadow cast by the curved pillar the whole time without saying a word. His face was cast down and it was difficult to look into his eyes.

　　I held one hand to my chest according to the Eldar custom.

　　“I thank you for this life. “The words came to me without thoughts or deliberation. “May the Valars smile upon you onwards.”

　　Father was quiet. For an instance I thought he was about to say something, maybe a blessing, maybe advice or caution, or say that he loved me. However, the muttered words did not form sentence, and he still could not lift his head to look at me.

　　So I turned around and stepped onto the carriage that would take me to the West of Arda.