《疑心病》一叶知境

8、可惜我们是亲生兄弟 我们是亲生

　　(一)

　　哥回国了。
　　父亲和母亲在前一天就开始张罗，买好大鱼大虾还大张
　　旗鼓的买鞭炮准备在那天放，为的就是庆祝两个儿子回
　　家

　　他们没和我说，还打算那天找理由让我们错过回家时
　　间。

　　仅仅是前几年他们撞见我跑进哥的房间说出的那句[我
　　喜欢你]

　　导致我哥被送到国外我被命令着到与家很远的上海。

　　就这样，我与哥整整三年没见。最近因为我哥借着有女
　　朋友的理由才勉强让回家。
　　他们二老的想法是让我们弟兄俩成家立业后才能见面。
　　否则到死都不能。

　　(二)

　　我在第三天才见到我哥，一身西装坐在客厅玩着手机，

　　直到我坐下，他才抬起了头。但眼睛依然不敢直视我。
　　母亲一直坐在我和哥中间以防我们再有亲密接触
　　充当一个传话的作用

　　"恒恒在国外还好吧。"

　　他点了点头又打开手机不断在屏幕乱划不知道在和谁聊
　　天。

　　母亲收到回应后又转过头冲着我将刚才的询问换了一个
　　名称

　　"眠眠在上海还好吧。"

　　我不想回答往旁边挪了挪觉得还不够便起身走到厨房
　　喊着[老爸，做好饭没，我饿了。]
　　我警见哥的眼神，他在盯着我看。

　　(三)

　　吃饭的环节很压抑，氛围很怪。
　　哥一直低着头吃饭
　　母亲不断给他夹菜
　　每夹一次还要重复一句
　　[这么瘦了，该多吃点。]

　　我有些不满，拿筷子敲了敲碗。眼睛死盯着母亲，母亲
　　没领会我的意思以为我在胡闹。
　　斥责我都多大了还不守规矩

　　只有我哥夹了一块糖醋里脊放在了我的米饭上。
　　被父亲看到
　　他的眼神从温和立马变得严厉将筷子狠狠摔在桌子。
　　【吃饭就吃饭夹来夹去有什么意思]
　　在家中再平常不过的一个举动，却是我们家里的禁忌。
　　因为他们不许我和我哥有一点亲密接触那怕简单的一句
　　[注意安全]

　　(四)

　　那件事过后，
　　父亲特意重新装修将我和我哥的卧室隔开了一段距离。
　　我在楼上哥在楼下，
　　而我们中间便是父母的卧室，
　　他们在实时监控着我们，以防我们越界。
　　那晚过的还算平静。
　　母亲在楼下追了一会儿剧就早早上楼睡觉
　　父亲在的缘故我和我哥有些拘泥，正巧碰到男女主角接
　　吻的片段
　　我注意到哥的耳根红了起来，尴尬的东张西望起来，但
　　男女主角好像还没有结束。
　　他也以困了为由回了卧室。
　　只留下我和父亲大眼瞪小眼

　　(五)
　　我的卧室还和走之前一样，母亲装修的时候没有太大改
　　动，

　　书架上摆放着一个黄色的□□熊，即使褪了色露出原本
　　的铁皮我也舍不得扔。
　　那是我哥送给我的第一件礼物。
　　我很珍惜，是个宝贝。

　　上小学的时候也常常拿着□□熊在班里炫耀我有个好哥
　　哥，为此，让不少朋友羡慕我。满足了我的虚荣心。

　　我十岁时，父母出差很少在家，我的一日三餐和一切都
　　是我哥照料，准确的也可以说是我哥把我带大的。
　　我们对彼此比自己还了解。

　　(六)

　　我对我哥的吻还停留在我十五岁。十岁时他也吻过我。
　　十五岁的吻又怎么能和十岁时的吻相比。
　　一个成熟有了自己想法才决定的吻。另一个则是出于对小孩子的喜爱。
　　这两者的区别很大。

　　(七)

　　去外面散步，哥的房间还在亮着。
　　我记得他很自律不到九点半就已经睡了很少有这种情
　　况。
　　见爸妈都睡觉了，我轻声轻脚跑到哥的房间。
　　他在整理衣服，看见门外的我拍了拍床让我做下免得被
　　父母看到
　　哥的床单还没有换，还是有着印在中间的□□熊，屋里
　　的一切还是那么熟悉，
　　小时候我怕黑怕打雷哥总会搂着我睡觉。
　　"打算什么时候结婚。"
　　我拿起地上的一本书翻看装作漫不经心的询问
　　"我没女朋友，只是编理由想见你了。"
　　我站起身靠的他更近一些
　　“那为什么不在一起?"
　　从他的眼神中我能察觉到他还是在意我的。
　　所以才有底气。

　　(八)

　　“我们从出生那一刻起就注定不能相爱你懂不懂。"
　　"那没有例外吗"
　　“没有例外，我们也不可能成为那个例外。"
　　他突然一声怒吼将我推在床上。
　　我手被按的生疼，打算抽回来他倒更用力。
　　“我们非要把爸妈逼死吗。"
　　我沉默了，不知道怎么回答他的疑问。
　　是啊，哪对父母会接受自己的两个孩子乱搞。这本就不
　　合常理。
　　他抱我的那刻，我突然不敢再爱他。
　　我们的关系原本可以不用闹的这么僵。

　　(九)
　　母亲还是不允许我和我哥靠近
　　为了监督我们特地请了一周的假期。
　　我哥在客厅她故意找理由支开我去厨房和她一起做蛋挞
　　与她一起做蛋挞的时候。
　　我才发现那么爱美的女人居然也白了鬓角。
　　手上也出现了皱纹
　　母亲也老了，怨不得她。
　　(+)

　　为了控制自己的情感，我主动要求去外面租房子住一段
　　时间。
　　他们点头了，给了我点钱，并一致表示支持说这是锻炼
　　我独立最好的机会。
　　我轻笑了一声，这不是其中的主要原因。

　　(十一)

　　哥躲在我的卧室为我收拾行李，洗面奶，裤子衣服叠的
　　整整齐齐的放在行李箱，还不忘顺带放上一瓶旺仔。
　　我与他隔了一段距离，靠在衣柜看的有些出神。
　　“一会儿下去我去给你买点泡芙和巧克力，”
　　“以前你很爱吃的，不知道这三年有没有变口味。"
　　看见我发呆他走近打算拍拍我回答刚才的问题
　　我下意识的躲开，
　　他一脸错愕的问我躲那么远干嘛我又不会吃了你。
　　父母的压迫让我不再敢靠近他。

　　(十二)

　　喜欢上自己的哥哥，不是异类还能是什么。
　　十五岁那年我疯狂迷恋他，像个小大人一样学着他抽
　　yan，呛的我抽不下去，藏到了床头，被哥收拾房间查
　　到烟盒将我揪出去狠狠训了一顿。
　　[别走哥的歪路]
　　是他对我说过最多的一句话
　　也是他第一次打我。

　　(十三)

　　学业原因，
　　我哥在家呆了一个星期便订好机票走了。
　　走的那天，父母还在瞒着我，没有通知。
　　再次和父母聊起这个话题，我开玩笑的问他们是不是故
　　意不告诉我的。
　　他们没有避讳，回答了是。

　　(十四)

　　哥，下次见面记得带一束玫瑰。
　　当作最后的告别。

　　(十五)

　　四年后的大年夜我们带着各自的女朋友回家，母亲拄着
　　拐杖走到门前迎接，望着我们现在的模样笑的合不拢
　　嘴，喊着[好好好，赶紧给我生孙子孙女。]
　　我们望着彼此强颜欢笑。
　　他的眼里闪着泪花。
　　我的内心百感交集，
　　伸出手重新介绍自己
　　[你好，我是你的弟弟夏尘眠]
　　有时候，世俗是打不破的，我们只能妥协。
　　我们的结局注定是be

　　[十六]
　　三年后的春天
　　父母因病逝世，那场葬礼上是我们最后一次见面
　　他整个人肉眼可见的消瘦，为了赶机回来我不知道他几
　　夜没睡，但我能感受到他的疲惫。
　　我打算走上前去安慰他却被妻子和孩子的一声老公，爸
　　爸。困住了双脚。

　　安葬好父母后，我们会老死不相往来。

　　(十七)
　　[我是假结婚没想到你是真结婚]
　　这是我在换号码之前收到的最后一条短信。

　　（英文版指路）
　　(I)

　　I'm back to China.

　　Father and mother began to open up the day before, buying big fish and prawns.

　　Firecrackers are ready to be set off that day to celebrate the return of their two sons.

　　Home

　　They didn't tell me, but they planned to find a reason for us to miss going home that day.

　　Between.

　　It's just the sentence they said when they ran into my brother's room a few years ago [I

　　I like you]

　　As a result, my brother was sent abroad and I was ordered to go to Shanghai far away from my home.

　　In this way, my brother and I haven't seen each other for three years. Recently, because my brother borrowed a daughter.

　　My friend's reason is to force me to go home.

　　The idea of the two elders is that we can't meet until we start a family.

　　Otherwise, you can't die.

　　(II)

　　I saw my brother on the third day, sitting in a suit in the living room playing with his mobile phone.

　　It was not until I sat down that he raised his head. But my eyes still dare not look directly at me.

　　My mother has been sitting between me and my brother in case we have close contact again.

　　Act as a messenger.

　　"Heng Heng is okay abroad."

　　He nodded and turned on his mobile phone and kept scratching on the screen. I don't know who he was talking to.

　　Oh, my God.

　　After receiving the response, my mother turned her head and changed the question just now.

　　Name

　　"It's okay to sleep in Shanghai."

　　I didn't want to answer. I moved aside and felt that it was not enough, so I got up and walked to the kitchen.

　　He shouted [Dad, are you ready? I'm hungry.]

　　I saw my brother's eyes, and he was staring at me.

　　(III)

　　The meal is very depressing and the atmosphere is very strange.

　　I've been eating with my head down.

　　His mother kept picking him vegetables.

　　Repeat one sentence for each clip.

　　[I'm so thin, I should eat more.]

　　I was a little dissatisfied and knocked on the bowl with chopsticks. Stare at your mother, mother.

　　I didn't understand what I meant and thought I was messing around.

　　I'm not going to follow the rules when I'm old.

　　Only my brother put a sweet and sour tenderloin on my rice.

　　Seen by my father

　　His eyes immediately changed from mild to sternness and threw his chopsticks on the table.

　　[What's the point of eating and sandwiching]

　　The most common move at home is a taboo in our family.

　　Because they don't allow me to have some close contact with my brother, even if it's a simple sentence.

　　[Be safe]

　　(IV)

　　After that,

　　My father deliberately redecorated and separated me from my brother's bedroom.

　　My brother upstairs is downstairs.

　　Among us is our parents' bedroom.

　　They are monitoring us in real time to prevent us from crossing the border.

　　It was quite calm that night.

　　My mother watched the play downstairs for a while and went to bed early in the morning.

　　Because of my father's presence, my brother and I happened to meet the hero and heroine.

　　Snippet of the kiss

　　I noticed that my ears turned red and looked around embarrassedly, but

　　It seems that the hero and heroine are not over yet.

　　He also went back to the bedroom on the grounds of sleepiness.

　　Only my father and I stared at each other.

　　(V)

　　My bedroom is still the same as before I left. My mother didn't change much when she decorated it.

　　Move,

　　There is a yellow Winnie bear on the bookshelf, even if it fades to reveal the original.

　　I can't bear to throw away the iron sheet.

　　That was my first gift from my brother.

　　I cherish it very much. It's a baby.

　　When I was in elementary school, I often took the Winnie Bear to show off that I had a good brother in my class.

　　Brother, for this, many friends envy me. It satisfies my vanity.

　　When I was ten years old, my parents seldom stayed at home on business trips. I had three meals a day and everything.

　　It's my brother's care. To be precise, it can be said that my brother brought me up.

　　We know each other better than ourselves.

　　(VI)

　　My kiss to my brother is still 15 years old. He also kissed me when he was ten years old.

　　How can a 15-year-old kiss be compared with a 10-year-old kiss?

　　A mature kiss that has his own ideas. The other is out of love for children.

　　There is a big difference between the two.

　　(Vii)

　　Go out for a walk. My room is still on.

　　I remember that he was very self-disciplined and slept before 9:30. There was little such feelings.

　　Besides.

　　Seeing that my parents were sleeping, I whispered to my brother's room.

　　He was tidying up his clothes and saw it outside the door. I patted the bed and asked me to do it so as not to be caught.

　　My parents saw

　　My brother hasn't changed the sheets yet. There is still a Winnie Bear printed in the middle, in the room.

　　Everything is still so familiar.

　　When I was a child, I was afraid that Brother Lei would always hug me to sleep.

　　"When are you going to get married?"

　　I picked up a book on the ground and looked at it as a casual inquiry.

　　"I don't have a girlfriend. I just want to see you for a reason."

　　I stood up and leaned against him closer.

　　"Then why aren't we together?"

　　From his eyes, I could notice that he still cared about me.

　　That's why I have confidence.

　　(Viii)

　　"We are destined not to love each other from the moment we were born."

　　"Is there no exception?"

　　"Without an exception, we can't make that exception."

　　He suddenly roared and pushed me on the bed.

　　My hand hurts when I was pressed, and I was going to pull it back, but he worked harder.

　　"Do we have to force our parents to death?"

　　I was silent and didn't know how to answer his questions.

　　Yes, which parents will accept the mess of their two children? This is not.

　　It is reasonable.

　　The moment he hugged me, I suddenly didn't dare to love him anymore.

　　Our relationship could not have been so rigid.

　　(Ix)

　　My mother still doesn't allow me to get close to my brother.

　　In order to supervise, we specially asked for a week's vacation.

　　My brother is in the living room. She deliberately found a reason to go to the kitchen to make egg tarts with her.

　　When making egg tarts with her.

　　I just found that such a beautiful woman turned out to have her temples white.

　　There are also wrinkles on my hands.

　　My mother is also old and can't blame her.

　　(+)

　　In order to control my emotions, I volunteered to rent a house outside for a while.

　　Time.

　　They nodded, gave me some money, and unanimously supported that it was exercise.

　　My best chance to be independent.

　　I smiled, which was not the main reason.

　　(11)

　　My brother hid in my bedroom to pack my luggage, facial cleanser, trousers and clothes.

　　Put it neatly in the suitcase, and don't forget to put a bottle of Wangzai with you.

　　I was a short distance from him and looked a little fascinated by leaning against the wardrobe.

　　"Go down later and I'll buy you some puffs and chocolate."

　　"You used to like it very much. I don't know if it has changed in the past three years."

　　Seeing me in a daze, he approached and planned to pat me answer the question just now.

　　I subconsciously avoided it.

　　He asked me with a stunned face and asked me why I would not eat you so far away.

　　My parents' oppression made me no longer dare to get close to him.

　　(XII)

　　If you like your brother, what else can you do if you are not an alien?

　　At the age of 15, I was crazy infatuated with him and learned to smoke like a little □□.

　　Yan, I couldn't pump it. I hid it at the head of the bed and was checked by my brother.

　　I took me out of the cigarette box and scolded me hard.

　　[Don't go my crooked way]

　　It's the most he said to me.

　　It was also the first time he hit me.

　　(13)

　　Academic reasons,

　　My brother stayed at home for a week and booked a ticket and left.

　　On the day I left, my parents were still hiding it from me without notice.

　　When I talked to my parents about this topic again, I jokingly asked them if they had died.

　　I didn't mean to tell me.

　　They didn't shy away and answered yes.

　　(XIV)

　　Brother, remember to bring a bouquet of roses next time we meet.

　　As a final farewell.

　　(XV)

　　Four years later, we took our girlfriends home, and our mother was on it.

　　The crutch went to the door to greet him, looking at what we are now, and I can't close it.

　　He shouted, "Okay, okay, give me grandchildren quickly.]

　　We looked at each other and laughed.

　　Tears flashed in his eyes.

　　My heart is full of feelings.

　　Reach out your hand and introduce yourself again.

　　[Hello, I'm your brother Xia Chenmian]

　　Sometimes, the secular world cannot be broken, and we can only compromise.

　　Our ending is destined to be

　　[16]

　　Spring three years later

　　My parents died of illness, and the funeral was our last time we met.

　　He was thin with the naked eye. In order to come back in a hurry, I don't know how much he is.

　　I didn't sleep at night, but I could feel his fatigue.

　　I was going to come forward to comfort him, but I was told by my wife and child, father.

　　Dad. Trapped in my feet.

　　After burying our parents, we will die of old age.

　　(XVII)

　　[I'm a fake marriage. I didn't expect you to get married]

　　This is the last text message I received before changing the number.

　　(I)

　　I'm back to China.

　　Father and mother began to open up the day before, buying big fish and prawns.

　　Firecrackers are ready to be set off that day to celebrate the return of their two sons.

　　Home

　　They didn't tell me, but they planned to find a reason for us to miss going home that day.

　　Between.

　　It's just the sentence they said when they ran into my brother's room a few years ago [I

　　I like you]

　　As a result, my brother was sent abroad and I was ordered to go to Shanghai far away from my home.

　　In this way, my brother and I haven't seen each other for three years. Recently, because my brother borrowed a daughter.

　　My friend's reason is to force me to go home.

　　The idea of the two elders is that we can't meet until we start a family.

　　Otherwise, you can't die.

　　(II)

　　I saw my brother on the third day, sitting in a suit in the living room playing with his mobile phone.

　　It was not until I sat down that he raised his head. But my eyes still dare not look directly at me.

　　My mother has been sitting between me and my brother in case we have close contact again.

　　Act as a messenger.

　　"Heng Heng is okay abroad."

　　He nodded and turned on his mobile phone and kept scratching on the screen. I don't know who he was talking to.

　　Oh, my God.

　　After receiving the response, my mother turned her head and changed the question just now.

　　Name

　　"It's okay to sleep in Shanghai."

　　I didn't want to answer. I moved aside and felt that it was not enough, so I got up and walked to the kitchen.

　　He shouted [Dad, are you ready? I'm hungry.]

　　I saw my brother's eyes, and he was staring at me.

　　(III)

　　The meal is very depressing and the atmosphere is very strange.

　　I've been eating with my head down.

　　His mother kept picking him vegetables.

　　Repeat one sentence for each clip.

　　[I'm so thin, I should eat more.]

　　I was a little dissatisfied and knocked on the bowl with chopsticks. Stare at your mother, mother.

　　I didn't understand what I meant and thought I was messing around.

　　I'm not going to follow the rules when I'm old.

　　Only my brother put a sweet and sour tenderloin on my rice.

　　Seen by my father

　　His eyes immediately changed from mild to sternness and threw his chopsticks on the table.

　　[What's the point of eating and sandwiching]

　　The most common move at home is a taboo in our family.

　　Because they don't allow me to have some close contact with my brother, even if it's a simple sentence.

　　[Be safe]

　　(IV)

　　After that,

　　My father deliberately redecorated and separated me from my brother's bedroom.

　　My brother upstairs is downstairs.

　　Among us is our parents' bedroom.

　　They are monitoring us in real time to prevent us from crossing the border.

　　It was quite calm that night.

　　My mother watched the play downstairs for a while and went to bed early in the morning.

　　Because of my father's presence, my brother and I happened to meet the hero and heroine.

　　Snippet of the kiss

　　I noticed that my ears turned red and looked around embarrassedly, but

　　It seems that the hero and heroine are not over yet.

　　He also went back to the bedroom on the grounds of sleepiness.

　　Only my father and I stared at each other.

　　(V)

　　My bedroom is still the same as before I left. My mother didn't change much when she decorated it.

　　Move,

　　There is a yellow Winnie bear on the bookshelf, even if it fades to reveal the original.

　　I can't bear to throw away the iron sheet.

　　That was my first gift from my brother.

　　I cherish it very much. It's a baby.

　　When I was in elementary school, I often took the Winnie Bear to show off that I had a good brother in my class.

　　Brother, for this, many friends envy me. It satisfies my vanity.

　　When I was ten years old, my parents seldom stayed at home on business trips. I had three meals a day and everything.

　　It's my brother's care. To be precise, it can be said that my brother brought me up.

　　We know each other better than ourselves.

　　(VI)

　　My kiss to my brother is still 15 years old. He also kissed me when he was ten years old.

　　How can a 15-year-old kiss be compared with a 10-year-old kiss?

　　A mature kiss that has his own ideas. The other is out of love for children.

　　There is a big difference between the two.

　　(Vii)

　　Go out for a walk. My room is still on.

　　I remember that he was very self-disciplined and slept before 9:30. There was little such feelings.

　　Besides.

　　Seeing that my parents were sleeping, I whispered to my brother's room.

　　He was tidying up his clothes and saw it outside the door. I patted the bed and asked me to do it so as not to be caught.

　　My parents saw

　　My brother hasn't changed the sheets yet. There is still a Winnie Bear printed in the middle, in the room.

　　Everything is still so familiar.

　　When I was a child, I was afraid that Brother Lei would always hug me to sleep.

　　"When are you going to get married?"

　　I picked up a book on the ground and looked at it as a casual inquiry.

　　"I don't have a girlfriend. I just want to see you for a reason."

　　I stood up and leaned against him closer.

　　"Then why aren't we together?"

　　From his eyes, I could notice that he still cared about me.

　　That's why I have confidence.

　　(Viii)

　　"We are destined not to love each other from the moment we were born."

　　"Is there no exception?"

　　"Without an exception, we can't make that exception."

　　He suddenly roared and pushed me on the bed.

　　My hand hurts when I was pressed, and I was going to pull it back, but he worked harder.

　　"Do we have to force our parents to death?"

　　I was silent and didn't know how to answer his questions.

　　Yes, which parents will accept the mess of their two children? This is not.

　　It is reasonable.

　　The moment he hugged me, I suddenly didn't dare to love him anymore.

　　Our relationship could not have been so rigid.

　　(Ix)

　　My mother still doesn't allow me to get close to my brother.

　　In order to supervise, we specially asked for a week's vacation.

　　My brother is in the living room. She deliberately found a reason to go to the kitchen to make egg tarts with her.

　　When making egg tarts with her.

　　I just found that such a beautiful woman turned out to have her temples white.

　　There are also wrinkles on my hands.

　　My mother is also old and can't blame her.

　　(+)

　　In order to control my emotions, I volunteered to rent a house outside for a while.

　　Time.

　　They nodded, gave me some money, and unanimously supported that it was exercise.

　　My best chance to be independent.

　　I smiled, which was not the main reason.

　　(11)

　　My brother hid in my bedroom to pack my luggage, facial cleanser, trousers and clothes.

　　Put it neatly in the suitcase, and don't forget to put a bottle of Wangzai with you.

　　I was a short distance from him and looked a little fascinated by leaning against the wardrobe.

　　"Go down later and I'll buy you some puffs and chocolate."

　　"You used to like it very much. I don't know if it has changed in the past three years."

　　Seeing me in a daze, he approached and planned to pat me answer the question just now.

　　I subconsciously avoided it.

　　He asked me with a stunned face and asked me why I would not eat you so far away.

　　My parents' oppression made me no longer dare to get close to him.

　　(XII)

　　If you like your brother, what else can you do if you are not an alien?

　　At the age of 15, I was crazy infatuated with him and learned to smoke like a little □□.

　　Yan, I couldn't pump it. I hid it at the head of the bed and was checked by my brother.

　　I took me out of the cigarette box and scolded me hard.

　　[Don't go my crooked way]

　　It's the most he said to me.

　　It was also the first time he hit me.

　　(13)

　　Academic reasons,

　　My brother stayed at home for a week and booked a ticket and left.

　　On the day I left, my parents were still hiding it from me without notice.

　　When I talked to my parents about this topic again, I jokingly asked them if they had died.

　　I didn't mean to tell me.

　　They didn't shy away and answered yes.

　　(XIV)

　　Brother, remember to bring a bouquet of roses next time we meet.

　　As a final farewell.

　　(XV)

　　Four years later, we took our girlfriends home, and our mother was on it.

　　The crutch went to the door to greet him, looking at what we are now, and I can't close it.

　　He shouted, "Okay, okay, give me grandchildren quickly.]

　　We looked at each other and laughed.

　　Tears flashed in his eyes.

　　My heart is full of feelings.

　　Reach out your hand and introduce yourself again.

　　[Hello, I'm your brother Xia Chenmian]

　　Sometimes, the secular world cannot be broken, and we can only compromise.

　　Our ending is destined to be

　　[16]

　　Spring three years later

　　My parents died of illness, and the funeral was our last time we met.

　　He was thin with the naked eye. In order to come back in a hurry, I don't know how much he is.

　　I didn't sleep at night, but I could feel his fatigue.

　　I was going to come forward to comfort him, but I was told by my wife and child, father.

　　Dad. Trapped in my feet.

　　After burying our parents, we will die of old age.

　　(XVII)

　　[I'm a fake marriage. I didn't expect you to get married]

　　This is the last text message I received before changing the number.